~t.r.a.v.e.l * l.o.g~

series of unexpected events

2009-12-11T23:48:00.003+01:00

i never thought that there will be a time where i'll need this blog again.

initally, this blog is one way of expressing myself and helping my inner self to cope with various situations.

i've stopped writing since February when i went back to Malaysia for internship, and i've been stable since.

my blog is only for my instable period, and it is back once again.

it is unexpected of me to start writing blog again

it is unexpected that one day she was healthy and laughing, but fall sick the next

it is unexpected that one day she was sick, but was really really sick the next

it is unexpected that one day she was awake, but was induced to sleep the next

it is unexpected that one day she was diagnosed only for infection, but turned out as cancer the next

it is unexpected that one day i thought it is early stage cancer, but turned out to be stage four the next

it is unexpected that one day she was alive and breathing, but passed away and stay still the next

it is unexpected that one day when we plan to tour europe together, but left me alone with only the plans

it is unexpected that one day she is here, but gone away forever the next

Semoga Allah tempatkan diri MU bersama-sama para rasul, para sahabat, dan orang2 yang beriman dan beramal soleh

Ku doakan MU tenang disana, rakan seperjuangan, rakan sepermainan dah rakan se'brigades' ; Nur Hazirah Abdul Rahman yang telah kembali ke pangkuan Allah pada 06.55am 09.12.2009 di Offenburg Germany

Al-Fatihah

My Song and...

2009-02-14T01:35:00.004+01:00

Dedicated to all my friends ^^ You are more than i can wish for on this day ^^ May you have a happy day ahead~~

YOUNHA - My Song and ....
she sing in english eventhough she is korean ^^ love this song

I made a song for you, my friend
I made a song that I will sing for you
Filling my life with many beautiful lights
And a thousand melodies
You are my paradise

I made a song for you, my dream
I made a song that I will sing for you, my friend
Falling in love with every part of your life
Until the end of time
I love you more
than my life

I wanna know you more
When you call me an angel
When you closely look into my eyes

Even though my love for you may fade away
I wanna give you more than words ever say
Cause I believe in you
And my song will fill the air when we’re apart

Even though my love for you may fade away
I wanna let my words be true to the end of time
Cause I believe you’ll never forget
and I won’t forget the song in my heart

Every time when I was down
You always came around
And you love all the lights in my life

I am gonna sing forever
I am gonna sing forever

Close your eyes
I wanna give you more than words ever said
Cause I believe in you
And my song will fill the air when we’re apart

Even though my love for you may fade away
I wanna let my words be true to the end of time
Cause I believe you’ll never forget
And I won’t forget this song in my heart

I wanna sing for you my friend
I wanna sing for you with all my heart
I wanna sing for you my dream
I wanna sing for you my..

recipe : macaroni & cheese

2009-02-11T13:38:00.007+01:00

well~ i'm sorry for the late post about the recepie. I'm kinda busy last week with my parents coming over with the addition the nerve-wrecking final exams at the same time. But it is finally over and i can rest my head a bit. Owh~ i dont know why, but the past few days i'm on a shopping frenzy mania and cant seem to cool down. I dont wish to look at my account balance right now *hahahha* At time like this I wish I am rich ^^ hahahah~

okay~ enough of my materialistic side

Here is the recipe for macaroni and cheese

1 cup macaroni
1/2 cup cheese sauce/cheddar cheese * in my case i seem to love mozarella cheese, so i them instead ^^ *
2 or 3 frankfurtes
1/2 teaspoon parmesan cheese
1 pinch dried oregano
4 buttery crackers / bread crumbs
1/2 cup milk

1. Boil the macaroni in hot water until al-dante, cook the sliced frankurters (i cook them both together in 1 pot ^^ yeah i know, i am lazy ^^)
2. Then toss away all the water
3. Start layering macaroni & frankfuters with parmesan cheese& mozarella cheese and also add the oregano. (You can layer them lasagne style, or just mix them together)
4. Add the milk and use mozarella cheese & the crushed crackers as the toppings
5. Bake at 185 degrees celcius in oven for 30 mins

THERE ^^ all done~ you can change the recipie at your will & preference cause i dont stick 100% with any recepie i have cause i tend to experiment a bit ^^ just like science lab =p

Have fun with cooking guys * i hope they turned out well *

owh... i'll be doing my internship for half year with daimler chrystler in pahang this summer. ^^ Wish me luck.

all about baking and eating satisfaction

2009-02-02T21:05:00.008+01:00

it is still examination period and after today's paper i really feel the urge to bake something. Maybe because i finally have the time to do something i love ^^ Chocolate brownies and Apple Pie are the only things that I learn and know how to bake in my first 2 years here after seeing zira make them. After that I didnt have the courage to try other recipies. Only 4 months back that i start loving baking cakes , muffins and such and i went into baking like crazy. Now i think i've fallen in love too deeply with baking~ It is too late to stop me now ... hehe

So i just finished baking my vanilla and chocolate muffins tonight and they turned out great. I'm totally happy and I even have the thought of running a muffin business rather than being an engineer... hehehe (just kidding~ =p) . My first try with muffin didnt really worked out that well and i managed to work it out with this second try. So yay~ for me ^^

Anyway~ because i've been sooooo into baking lately than never before, it is time to post the pictures of my masterpieces ^^ (Of course, it is obvious that I only bake things that i love to eat ^^)

First: Today's vanilla and chocolate muffin with choc chips

in the end , 18 muffins ready to be eaten ^^

Second : Last week's Apple Pie

Apple Pie is the first thing that i learned to bake since studying in germany. Thanks to zira who teach me how and giving me the recipie. I don't know how many times have I baked this, but this is the first time the crust turned out this great. (well.. there are still rooms for improvements, so next time i'll do better)

cross section view

Third : Vanilla and Chocolate (with Choc chips) Cookies

I really love eating the cookies and I am amazed that i get them right on the first try. Maybe I should make them more later on ^^ (They are really a great snack when watching movies LOL)

Fourth : Macaroni and Cheese (with sausages)

Fifth : Beef Lasagne with Mushrooms

Sixth : Raspberry Cheesetart

This was during the time where I went cheesecake-mania for a while. I dont really like cheesecake in my 21 years of living (I do prefer choc cake much more than cheesecake), but it changed last year. I even craving for cheesecake and even bought them whenever I was in town. I wonder what caused this change in me? I really dont even have a concrete answer ^^ But one thing I know now , "Goodbye choc cakes, Welcome cheesecakes !!! "

With & Without toppings

Seventh : Raspberry Cheesecake

also as Anez's belated birthday cake (joint venture project with my aunt who came to visit)

That was all the things that i baked from middle Dec 08 until today. Quite a number eh? Well~ i've also baked cheesecupcakes with fruits in that duration, but i didnt have a picture of it. Now it is like a habbit to take pictures of new recepies that i tried, but sometimes i do tend to forget ^^

The main reason of why i do bake a lots of things in this past 2 months is because of exam stress. I do release my stress by baking things that i want to eat ^^ and of course , winter is the time where i eat a lot and craving lots of fancy stuff (that explains why i gained weight a bit XDDDD)

Anyway~ if anyone want the recipie, i am more than happy to share it with you ^^ just ask.

One more exam to go~~~~ yeah ^^ and then HOLIDAY \(^^)/

starry starry night

2009-02-01T02:36:00.002+01:00

So Deep Is The Night
So deep is the night
No moon tonight
No friendly star
To guide me with it's light

Be still my heart
Silent less my love should be returning
From a world, far apart

So deep is the night
Oh lonely night
On broken wings
My heart has taken flight
And left a dream

In my dream our lips are blending
Will my dream be never ending
Will your memory haunt me till I die

Alone am I, deep into the night
Waiting for the light
Alone am I, I wonder why
Deep is the night

Chopin Etude OP 10-3.
Chanson de l'adieu

even heaven cries

2009-01-23T17:23:00.006+01:00

a song from a german pop trio group "Monrose" . This song reminds me of the past. I used trying hard to be someone who is perfect and can be proud of because of my family. but sometimes, by trying too hard , i forget who i really am. I mean, gradually i become someone else than being myself. To be yourself is a hard thing to do. That is what i used to think. I am not a genius , but I work hard for the good results.

I think it is okay for not being perfect all the times. Before, I didnt even know the meaning of failure because I always aim for the best and I'll cry when my results is not as i expected. studying in Germany change my perception of being perfect and gave me a big slap on the face. I've failed my papers many times and I cant accept the reality. There are times where I want to quit and run back home, because my pride has been shattered to pieces. People may see me as an intelligent person, but i am really not. At that time I'm afraid of what others might think of me. How will they react when they know i've been failing my exams. I imagined lots and lots of things until I become so scared without knowing what to do next.

But when I think I should be myself and accept that part as my flaw, only then did I calm down. Yes, I just need to be myself and the imperfection is a part of me. I just need to accept it and live proudly as who I am. Maybe there are others who didnt live honestly as themself not because they dont want to, but because of the situation they are in.

it is okay to doubt yourself sometimes, but i think everything will be alright if you just believe in yourself ^^

There are times when you feel that you don't know where you fit in
So you hide what is real even when it hurts you pretend
To be the one that you think everybody wants you to be
No one sees

The one you really are
But you don't have to hide your heart
Cause nothing by you needs to change
Sometimes it might seem hard
your whole world falls apart
Just know that when you feel that way

Even heaven cries
Everybody cries
It's ok to doubt
Yourself sometimes
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you feel inside
It's alright, it's alright
Cause even heaven cries

When you look in the mirror, and you don't see picture of perfect

what they say break your heart and make you feel that you´re not worth it
Wanna disappear, hide the tears, still playing make believe
So no one sees

Even heaven cries
Everybody cries
It's ok to doubt
Yourself sometimes
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you fear inside
It's alright, it's alright
Cause even heaven cries

You're not alone
Don't be ashamed
To let your feelings show
You should realize
You're special who you are
In time you're gonna see...

don´t you realize

Even heaven cries
Everybody cries
It's ok to doubt
Yourself sometimes
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you fear inside
It's alright, it's alright
Cause even heaven cries

pastries & cupcakes

2009-01-13T23:21:00.006+01:00

lately i've been obsessed with baking and i just finished baking my raspbery cheese tart just now
it is my first try but the results are quite okay ^^ putting aside the thickness of the crust =p
i just need to practice more on making the crust *yeah, making pie crust is a tricky work*
by the way, who doesnt love pastries n cupcakes?
i just love it so much ^^
i love to eat it and i want to make it myself

next on the list to bake : choc chips cookies ^^ * lets go shopping tomorrow~~*

these days of which exam is causing a big stress on my mind
with baking , it saves me from all the hectic for a while
maybe people think it is more stressing than studying
but hey~ if it is your interest, everything will be a bliss

i suddenly start wondering that i should take a change in my profession
and become a pastry chef instead ^^
then i can move to paris and learn to be one over there (i wish..)
owh~ how i love the scenery in paris . . . .
but instead, i'm here cramming my head with all the formulas n tables
in this technology leading land of germany
complaining can't change anything at this point though . . .

by the way, exam starts this friday and heck~
tuesday is almost up, just a few days more to go until D-day
to make the situation worst, my exam starts with THE killer paper
what a nightmare

anyway~ i really wanna be good at making pastries
(on the other hand, i really wanna be good in many more such as photography, writing, PSing, and many many more on the list. By the way, i'm not fond of gardening *hahahah* let all the gardening goes to you =p)

song in my head day in and day out : SHINee - Stand By Me ^^

of wishing and hope

2009-01-12T03:20:00.004+01:00

why do we often wish for something?
normally we wish because we need something, such as help or objects
but at times, we do make wishes because we are afraid
afraid of not knowing of what will happen
so we wish that things will unveil in a way that we always hope for

even not all of our wishes do come true
we still keep on wishing because sometimes they do
and every now and then, we realise
we do have a long list of wish, waiting to be wished
and the process will never ends,
unless we do not believe in wishing anymore

for me, a wish is a sign of hope
when we blow candles on birthdays and have a wish
or when we are in deep trouble and make a wish
we are actually hoping for something to come true
we are waiting for some hope lighting the way

so unless we give up on hope
we will never end up not wishing for something

tonight, let's wish upon the star

i wish " .................... "

one = alone

2009-01-09T18:38:00.003+01:00

it is frustrating when i think i have someone that i can lean on and telling everything that i want to, is actually in reality a bluff
i have lost many important persons in my life that i can rely on and only a few remain
but from this small group there is certain people where i share certain story with
becuase not all person will give the feedback that i want
and sometimes there will be opinion and advice that i absolutely didnt want to hear
that is why i only choose to tell a certain group of people, only certain stories. Get the picture?

but to have one person that i can tell everything is very very rare
and i always want this person to always be at my reach so i can get in touch at any time i want
maybe i just need that person attention
maybe without attention i feel kind of lonely
i feel relatively "alone"

i cant force people to give attention to me
nor can i keep bugging the person who doesnt realise that i need attention
sigh~ lately i rather communicate with my hands rather than my mouth
(i communicate more virtual than reality)
and i really think it is bad for my mental state, but i really cant help it

when i talk less, i sleep more and i cook more ^^
when i doesnt talk at all in a day, i am starting to feel weird
what problem on earth am i getting myself into?

christmas break and the endless coins dreadful story

2009-01-05T22:27:00.011+01:00

Zurich , Switzerland (5pm)

tomorrow is the final day of christmas + new year break and in just 2 weeks my exam will start, which is a horrible nightmare except that i am not dreaming... T___T this is THE reality

i really love my break eventhough the weather is getting cruel lately. This is the most coldest winter that i ever had since i'm living over here. Today is snowing and until now.. still snowing. I really love snow because of 2 reasons. First, when it is snowing, it is not so 'dreadful' cold compared to the windy-cold-without-snow-winter-days. Seriously, people will always think that the temperature will be at the lowest when it is snowing, but actually as a matter of fact it is not. Yes, compared to malaysia it is really cold when it snow.. but to our comparison (who live in the cold countries) , it is not so cold when it is snowing. before it started to snow , that is mostly the coldest part of the day and because of this i always make wild prediction that it will snow later that day when i feel really really cold *But this method is not proved scientifically XDDD*. Second reason why i love snow is becuase the untouched snow (not the snow that being rolled over by cars over and over and on the muddy walkaway) is really beautiful and i love walking in the snow ^^ i feel at bliss

a lot of things happen during the holiday and for not following the plan, i'm really sorry to those involved *you know who you are right?* I may not declare that I'm not gulity at all but that was the choice that I have made and sorry for the consequences and the inconvenience. Nothing I can do now can undo the past and i hope we can look forward to the future instead. By the way, I will always love you guys no matter what happen between us. forever.

A short + unprepared and last minute trip plan to 3 countries (Germany, Switzerland & France) in 2 days ^^ . I went to Strasbourg in France, Basel and Zurich in Sitzerland and Karlsruhe, Offenburg, Konstanz in Germany (well.. germany shouldnt be counted in the list in the first place becuase i'm living in germany right now ^^) . I am really fond of Basel which situated at the border of the 3 countries that i had mentioned above. Imagine hearing the locals speaking German in France style and vice versa ^^. at that time i really wonder where exactly am I, am I in Swiss or am I in France instead? The only problem that I cant forget until the day I die is the Swiss coins~~~ They use a lot of coins instead of notes and I'm really sucks at recognizing the value of each coins , not to mention paying with coins is really a tiring process because I need to count the coins one by one and then handing a hand full of coins to the cashier ( Most of the time, the cashier lady will surely count the coins back and due to this matter, the possiblity to form a long paying line is really high . But i guess most of the cashier personnel in Swiss has a really high tolerance of patience ~~ hehehe) If I am in their place, I can go nuts with counting the coins day in and day out. For those who didnt know, Switzerland use Swiss Franc as their currency and 1 euro is about 1.4 Swiss Franc and they also have 5 franc in coins. Imagine how Malaysia will be if all the RM1 , RM2 and RM5 are in coins form? We will be forced to bring big coins pouch instead of our regular wallet ^^" and the amount of our coins will be endless T___T *plus dont forget the unnecessary added weight*. Seriously~, I really dont want to live in Swiss due to that particular reason (+ Zurich is a really expensive place to live, but it is a shopping heaven to the higher hierarchy.)

The dreadful story of the Swiss Franc that happen to me was, there is this 5 cent coin and another coin which is almost the same size but at the face of the coin state 1/2 Fr. So my friend and I keep wondering how much is the value of this one small coins? Becuase the biggest coins is surely 5 Franc, followed by 2 Franc > 1 Franc > 50 cent > 20 cent > 10 cent > 5 cent > 2 Cent > 1 cent *see how much they have for their coins compared to malaysia??* The big question is, how much value the small coin that has 1/2 Fr. engraved on it worth?

Okay~ you guess.

...

..

.

The answer is , 1/2 Fr. is actually 50cent. Logically half from 1 Fr is 50 cent... But why on earth they produce such a coin to the size of 5 cent??? The 10 cent and 20 cent is much much bigger in size than that, plus they already have the 50 cent coins.. why add another coin with the same value and on the contrary the smaller size? We finally get the answer from a cashier at a souvenir shop becuase we thought the 1/2 Fr is the same as 5 cent due to it size, and we are totally wrong~~~~

yes... i really dont understand why their currency is that way and i'm glad i'm using euro instead of swiss franc ^^ . The conclusion that i can deduce here is, The Swiss really love COINS ^^ but they make really good watches and I almost buying a swiss watch over there becuase of the thought "I'm buying this swiss watch in its origin country, Switzerland XDDD" eventhough i can buy it in germany at the same price. Maybe it is all just for the sake of my self satisfaction ^^ and remembrance. But in the end I didnt buy it. So now, is there someone that want to give me a swiss watch as a present? hehehe

enough about the story of the endless-coins, i should start studying for the upcoming 7 final papers . When exam fever is around, the possiblity for my mental state swaying up and down is very very very high and probably more of weird or gloomy post will be up next. Also today is my mum's Birthday ^^

Happy Birthday Mummy ~~
May you always be healthy, happy and wealthy *hehehe*

Happy new year once again and did u finished making your 2009 resolution yet??

p/s: i dont really have a yearly resolution cause it troubles me a lot to think of it on yearly basis and i dont really follow it ^^ But i always try to make myself better and for tommorrow will be better than today ~~~~

enjoying the cold winter with beautiful white snow *even offenburg yg panas pun snow XDDDDD*

tiru gaya noreen yg selalu bergambar belakang pokok ^^

just once & year end

2008-12-28T03:29:00.009+01:00

i've been listening to a random playlist on my media player as i seldomly do that, cause there are almost thousands songs in my hard disk (okay~ i'm exegerating... cause i didnt even bother to count how many songs are actually there ^^) until i stumble upon this one evergreen song that i really love.

well.. the meaning is deep, but it did not mean anything to me at this point though.. even at some point before it did. Christmas until new year break will be spent at zira's and nani's ... So i'm really excited to meet the brigades ^^ yay~ and a night out on silvester with all the fireworks in town..

so just embed the song here if someone want to hear it ^^ enjoy and hopefully this year had been a great year for all of you *enjoy~~~*

I did my best
But I guess my best wasn't good enough
'Cause here we are back where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes
We're back to being strangers
Wondering if we oughta stay
Or head on out the door

Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why we never last for very long
What are we doing wrong
Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

I gave my all
But I think my all may have been too much
'Cause Lord knows we're not getting anywhere
Seems we're always blowing whatever we got going
And seems at times with all we've got
We haven't got a prayer
Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why the goodtimes never last for very long
Seems we're always blowing
Whatever we got going

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

Just once I want to understand
Why it always come back to good-bye
Why can't we get ourselves in hand
And admit to one another
That we're no good with out the other
Take the best and make it better
Find a way to stay together

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
I know we can break through it
If we could just get to it

Just once
If we could get to it

Just Once...

on choices

2008-12-24T03:22:00.007+01:00

things are kind of hectic in my daily life now as my aunt and uncle come to visit . so i barely had time for myself , but still... i'm enjoying myself being a full time tourist guide. it had been one week when they arrived, but having my uncle and aunt to visit me will never the same as my parents coming over. Yes.. i miss my parents right now and i wish they are on the next flight to germany to visit me ^^ *a wishful christmas wish, don't you think?*

The best thing of having my relatives over is that i can request for almost everything that i want to eat (because i dont know how to make them... so i'm really happy to eat good food ^^) such as laksa penang... Yes, i'm eating A LOT this past week and yeah~ i'm not really suprised that i've gained some extra 'unnecessary' kilos cause of that. Right!! I should consider dieting after this so that i'll be the old me again.. right now i'm a new me becuase of some added weight XDDDDD

there are a lot of things happen to me on choices this past week. And for me, making choices is not a difficult thing to do, but making a good one that i wont regret later is really.. really ... really .... a hard thing for me to do. Yes, most of the time i tend to make a quick solution which i think is the right thing to do at that moment. But then at one point i will wonder if i really choose the right one for me? the more i think, the more regretful i will become. So you can see, i am not really fond of making choices that will determine my future... But I have to do so , and we all will have to be doing the same thing if we really want to live our life right?

Oh well~ there is no exact answer to a question in life, cause either can be right or wrong. No absoultes. Life is a mystery and that mystery is it's charm.

So in all problems, it will always come to your choice. What will it be?
This type of questions are pretty normal in our daily life
To do or not to do?
To improve or not to improve?
To study or not to study?
To attend lectures or not to?
To think or not to think?
To take an action or not?
and the list will long continue, it seem to have no end....

In the end, everything will come back to you. It is all about what you want to do and your desires and nothing else matters. There is always an answer to every question or problem. it is how you choose your answer will make the diference. There will never be an exact answer to these type of questions and not everyone will have the same choice as you do .... Each person is unique and never the same.

So think hard... and make your choices, only then will you make a difference in your life as choices can change your life in a way that you can't ever imagine
Making great choices is a great talent and it can be a powerful tool to make you a great person, be it in your work ( eg. business, administration) , relations with family and friends , and also in your life.

So choose wisely as Choices hold the power in the world....

i've been appointed as MGSS treasurer I for 2009. The thing is, it is really an unexpected event and i am totally suprised. I wonder I am really happy or not? Or maybe i dont feel anything at all *yeah~ poke me for being so unsensitive on this matter*. Oh well ~, as it turned out this way i would like to say thanks to people who vote for me and i'll do my best for the job that will be entrusted to me. m(_ _)m

runaway and reality

2008-12-16T00:23:00.005+01:00

there are many things we did on impulse
we did not think , we just did it and follow the heart
you will always choose the way to be better
as others did not really matter

and i choose to run away (for a while)
which i did, and run away almost 500km from home
an action that always cross my mind,
but always didnt have the urge to do it
and last weekend, i did it at last...

how does it feels to runaway?
i just feel excited and refreshing
cause i can just leave everything that burdens me behind
not that i forget about them at all
just ignore them for a while

so when i get back and in the right state of mind
i will solve it one by one, or search for the solutions
and i just need to stay positive ^^
meeting few peoples make me think, how can they be that happy?
i want to be like them.. how can they love this country?
the only thing that i need to think is
HOW?

i cant run from reality nor i want to run away neither
but life is not all about the good things, it contains everything
a quote from a friend " stress is life"
yes it is, it is how we confront it that will make the difference

one friend express the dissapointment of the community around
betrayal, bad-mouthing, grudges and etc on the same list..
reality is not what we always wanted, but that what makes it a REALITY
if everything around us is about what we want, and we want everything going according to our liking, then it will be a FANTASY instead

to face the reality is tough
to not be able to accept the reality is pitiful
to not able to make the reality better is depressing
to belive that things will get better in reality is a blessing

grasping the will in me with both hands
waking up from the sweet dream and make my way through the reality
i need to change.... NOW~~

weariness and practical training

2008-12-10T12:48:00.007+01:00

A lot of things have been on my mind lately, and my daily routine takes on a sinus-form ride. I really cant keep being on a constant-"one"-pace for a long time, and maybe i've always make my housemate worry about me in this matter. Sorry dear, but this is how i am. Or perhaps she has already known me well.

Unexpected....that is the precise word in describing my behaviour and I hate doing things at times when I feel not doing so. I wonder if this part of me will change in the future? or will it still be a part of me? It is still a mystery and I still dont have a clue , why it happen suddenly and abruptly.

Enough of all this complex of mine, i'm sure I really cant explain it in words cause there is no suitable words to describe it. If not , the psychologist will be at bliss, as all the emotions and people problems can be totally learned by reading some thick scribbles of others.

I am in a weary state this past few days, and I can't be certain why.... Thinking too many things can be troublesome at times, not thinking at all will make me too ignorant. A perfect balance between the two is very difficult, as the line between them is like a hair-breadth thin, too fragile to keep the harmony.

Practical training is one topic that is on my mind most of the time, as it is such a huge problem to solve. To secure a place before February next year at a company in Germany is such a big and troublesome task. Many didnt want to hire foreign students as we have a lot of handicaps ( e.g : Language, Culture and etc..) . Some really didnt want to teach the foreigner on how they produce things, as to keep the secret of their company from leaking out to the "world". I wonder if their secret is 'that' valuable to make them 'that' secretive. Only those company which have a base in Malaysia are willing to take us in. It is understandable that their willingness is one part of their marketing plans to have people like us who undertstands their language and study under their style of education to join them (their company) later when we graduate. But other than that, we have no other option but to rely on luck and of course very very good grades (which i totally sure that my grades are not that good at all). All of the companies that I've sent my application did not given me any reply yet and i'm getting worried as the days went by.

Other than that, the town is in christmas mood which has this great festive atmosphere and the snowy week is a plus, which really make you feel more like christmas. (The only problem is that I am not celebrating christmas at all ^^ )And I really feel to have this great christmas shopping spree as Shopping is one of the therapy of the 'soul' that i practiced a long time ago ^^. Spending money can make one happy, eventhough that sounds sooooo materialistic, only I dont really have a companion to do so which ultimately killed my mood and enthusiasm . So i just stay at home and see the snow falling blissfully from my bedroom window and wish that tomorrow will be a better day than today. *Too melancholic and gloomy*

Some pictures of Nuernberger's Christkindlesmarkt (Nuernberg Chirstmas Market)
(credit to ijat and tengku for the pics.. you see, i dont even have a digicam.. so i have to snatch you guys's pics tho ^^ unless someone want to give me a digicam for christmas.. which seems very unlikely XDDDD)

I really love the christmas decorations and snow. It makes me forget the cold weather as my eyes are indulging all the beauty. Hope there is someone I can share this with ^^

Lets Have a merry christmas (I am not celebrating this ye, you ppl~ it is just i'm enjoying the festive atmosphere without any deeper meaning)

raya korban & unexpected peoples' behavior

2008-12-08T20:24:00.008+01:00

First of all .. Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all muslims. Eventhough I'm halfway around the world from my home , I'm still celebrating with my friends and seniors which is quite fun ( btw, there is no juniors at my university XDDD i'm still the junior for the past 2 years, so i dont know how does it exactly feel to have juniors at my town... so i wonder when mara will send juniors over here?? T___T *stop sending them to the kampungs ^^ , a big town is much better you know?* Yes it is all due to mara's policy to scatter the students and not keep us in a big group at one place.. divide and conquer eh? ^^)

I'm still going to class today and luckily I have only 1 class in the morning and free the rest of the day. Yes, wearing baju kurung during this chilly and windy winter is quite challenging, but that is one of two times that I will wear baju kurung in Germany (the other time is during Majlis Raya Aidilfitri ^^) So other than that, my baju kurung will be nicely put away in the deepest part of my closet ^^ , not a suprise there right? ...

I've been spending my youth at boarding school from form 1 to form 5 and I can say proudly now that the period of being away from the society have somehow saved me from getting involved with socials problems. Some may think that a boarding school is like a prison which locked you up just for the sake of education. But it is not a really bad thing , eventhough I dont really think it that way when I was still in school. But I noticed that "The Malaysian Youth " nowdays have somehow become more liberal and daring. It is a fact that many youngsters are badly influenced by their peers (e.g : smoking, drugs , stealing n etc... the list goes on) . Also the act of smoking openly for malay women nowdays is not a shocking thing anymore and become more like a common thing, eventhough it is kind of a 'taboo' thing to do in front of the society like 20 years back. What shocked me more is the fact of some girl that I know who wears tudung is now smoking openly in public. I just dont think smoking is a girl thing to do and it defenitely didnt suit the image of a girl wearing tudung at all!!! (yeah~ maybe i am old-fashioned, but i just dont care)

I wonder what does a tudung mean to girls right now? Just for the sake of wearing it because maybe the famliy will be schocked if she did'nt? That means she wears it because of other people and not on their own will. Or just it because of others will be talking badly about you if you are not wearing one? Asked yourself (if you are a muslim girl)

I know that not all girls who wears tudung are good like angles, and not all those who dont wears one are bad. But a girl wearing tudung and smoking at the same time? What do you think of this? Okay okay... I dont really state that with smoking you are a bad person. It is just, I still cant belive that a friend of mine who wears tudung is actually smoking. Unexpected things happen when you least expected. I just wonder if this will be the trend in the next few decades and what will happen to our society then? It will definitely worsen till the day where everything ends. Yes, it is hard for me to admit this, but Kiamat is near, very near indeed. I am not in the position to 'berceramah' over here because I know, I am not a really good person who abide by all the rules and I admit I also make many big mistakes in my life. But I believe everyone have the rights to say their opinion out loud and this is my opinion (How people thinks and their views differs from one another, so maybe some will not agree with me on certain matters)

I know I am very critical about all this smoking stuff, and I dont say that everyone who is smoking is a bad person to the core, but I really hate it. My dad and my bro did not smoke and due to that I cant tolerate people who is smoking close to me without any consideration. I just think they are plain rude. I just cant stand the smell and it can caused you many health problems eventhough you are just a passive smoker. *So if you want to die earlier, just dont drag me along*. For me, those who smokes didnt love themself, even when they knew that smoking is bad for their health, yet they are still doing it. Ignorance is a bliss huh? many times I said this to people that I know, "How can a person love another person, if that person didnt love themself first? ". I know it is hard to stop smoking, but it can be done. You just need to put your heart in it. Nothing is impossible if you try and it WILL be impossible when you dont even trying. Well, I still feel bad for this girl I know and her boyfriend who is also starting to smoke again under her influence. I just feel it is a big waste, but there is nothing that I can do because it is their life and not mine. They choose it themself.

Okay~ closed with all the smoking, I just hope.. I wont find out that more of my friends who I think are very unlikely to start smoking, actually smokes when I get back home next year. I will really pity them, even when they dont think they are not 'pitiful' at all. Say NO to smoking !!

People is very mysterious and they can change in a blink of an eye. I just think this is more frightening than a horror movie ^^

I just hope you people enjoy your raya and always be happy ^^

An instrumental classical music which always have a soft spot in my heart

Girls Day Out 2008 report

2008-12-04T16:32:00.007+01:00

This year's Girls Day Out MGSS/Mara Kumpel was held on 29th Nov 2008 with 48 participants from students all over Germany at Adam-Kraft-Realshule in Nuernberg. It is a real success (from my opinion) as things went according to the plan, even with some delays between the games. Overall I hope everyone is happy with our organizing team which been led by me and also the activities itself. If we have make any mistakes during organising this event, there is nothing more we can say to you except sorry ... very very much. This is the first time our team had planned a big event like this and we are still unexperienced, thus mistakes are very likely to happen .

The main event for GDO '08 are Futsal and Traditional Games ( Batu Seremban , Lompat Getah and Galah Panjang) .

Pictures of the futsal event ; (credit to kak zatil for all the pics *sbb isyqi x nk bg gamba die ^^*)

Traditional games

THE WINNERS

All in all ^^ I think me and my team have done a great job and see you again next year ^^ ( with different organiser , of course ^^) To next year's organiser , do contact me if you want to use again the goal posts, balls, whistles and etc ^^ We will gladly give them to you

all about "Namida"

2008-12-01T22:48:00.005+01:00

Namida in japanease, tears in english and Tränen in german ...
Many words describe the same thing
Many reasons why it exists

Touched by the lyrics make me want to share with everyone
I am a universal music lover, so doesnt matter what the language is
as long as the meaning of the song moved my heart, i will love it and hear it

No matter how many thousands of times I've cried
I'll always get over it
I can't act stupid to escape it
That kind of situation, you understand, right?
Now it's the last time, the last chance
Even if it fails, don't be scared
Being sad or depressed
Or having loved, there'll be a day
When you're cured
In those days when things don't go according to plan
The feeling of being deceived
It's like something being broken
The tears begin overflowing
It's impossible to be unaffected
It's impossible to show a frank face
If I'm always avoiding it
Thinking about it even now I won't stop
It's not finished
It can't be finished
Nothing has even started
The answer hasn't been received
I can't give up
I haven't even felt the significance, meaning and happiness of my existence
Something anyone needs
I'm waiting for my tomorrow
Stepping over those crying over and over days
I'll become strong
I shouldn't pretend to be stupid to escape it
That kind of situation, you understand, right?
Being put down many thousands times
I'll always get over it
Your voice will arrive, right?
No matter where
It will be heard immediately.

I can't give up now.. i know there are lots of things waiting for me

. D-day

2008-11-29T22:19:00.006+01:00

Today's event went well.. I mean, it went smoothly but still a bit chaotic here and there..
but i hope everyone is satisfied with our jobs.
It is just 10 pm but i am so sleepy and tired. I think the bag under my eyes are kinda obvious right now, cause i sleep late last night and wake up early today cause i am nervous and anxious, about the event and hope that i didnt forget anything that had been planned. Eventhough we started the event late by 1 hour, somehow we managed to finished around the time planned, which is a good news for all of us. 48 person participated in this year's event and it was a blast (without any major accidents and unexpected events)

I just need to write this today, or else i have a diffferent feel when i write this the next morning, As hanan wrote in her blog, things will not be the same when u sleep on it.. which i think is quite true. The feeling to write now about something, is different than the next time. So better jot down, when the feeling is still there and the memories are still warm

I met lots of people today and it is kinda fun. There are not many events when all malaysian students here in Germany can gather, so it is a rare chance that should not be missed. Eventhough it is a hard work to organise and coordinate the event, but I am satisfied when everyone come and enjoy themself ^^ I am really happy and overwhelmed with the teams that even make their own group t-shirt, which express their anticipation for the GDO 2008 Programme

But all in all, I can conclude that this year's Girls day Out Nuernberg 2008 is a success. Thanks to all the commitees for the hardwork and all people who joined and make the atomsphere more exciting. I can now rest my head , totally ....

and now I can start to concentrate more on my studies XDDDDDD

all had been well ......

.on a so called death-stress

2008-11-26T01:44:00.008+01:00

Or should i say, stress to death? Cause i am so pissed off now...
Not to mention, I am so stressed out that i feel like a volcano going to erupt (at one time i think of throwing everything in my room, but fortunately i dont have the courage to do so when the trouble of cleaning up later came to my mind)

but i am so stressed out, to the point i cant sleep nor do anything else until i have this matter settled, which is so important to be done right now. And the programme needed for this task just give up one me, or maybe it totally hate me?, i wonder if i ever did anything wrong to it?? *okay ppl~ , i am a little off right now, so just ignore my style of unbalanced-emotion-writing*
A window always popped up on my screen and stated the programme is missing one of its operational file/driver or whatsoeva..and i need to browse for the file in my directory, which i dont EVEN know where it is and never know if it ever exist in the first place. All this mess is a TOTAL PAIN IN THE *** ~ sigh~ I am not an expert IT-person, and i will never become one , or in a better well-phrase sentence 'i dont even want to become one'

it took me forever to search and think of the solution...I try searching up and low on the net, and nothing works for me yet after several attempts.well... i might have a soultion right now.. but it is time consuming, and i dont have much time to give!!! I know if i snap, everything will be a mess and i wont care about completing my tasks, which i will eventually regret when i calm down.. So i just wait patiently for the might-be-solution to do the fixing task and i have free time to spare (which i was forced to admit right now, as things are out of my control, even with the limited time limit). So here i am pouring my heart out on this piece of virtual paper , so i can at least be a bit better by doing it (psychologically).

i just hope the proposed solution can fix everything back to normal so i can quickly get back to my job and then get some sleep afterwards
i know, lack of sleep (+strees) can make one slightly off the balance (mentally)
All of the time , it choose an important time like this to mess with me. I tend to get so depressed and frustated when things are not working well, even after i done my best to fix them . Why oh why~ at a time like this nothing seem to be working the way i want it to?

Lets hope i can finish all the troubleshooting and fixing tonight

*when anger and frustration controls over you, you will feel like throwing everything upside down*

dont worry, nothing is broken in my room
nothing is being torn apart , and nothing is upside down
i still have the control over my rage
at least for now

who knows what will happen the next morning right? *winks*
XXDDDDDDDD

gtg and shoot all the things that caused me lots of trouble tonight
so it wouldnt bother me anymore in the near future

starting of something new

2008-11-23T01:39:00.015+01:00

i havent change my blog's template since i start blogging
and just now , there is a sudden urge in me to change for a new look
and here is the result ... and you are staring at it with your own eyes
*i just download form the net, cause i dont know how to make one \(^^')/*

as you can see.. it is shocking pink ^^ i just love this one cause it is simple and sweet
i think it as beautiful, but maybe some of you dont
but it is not a big matter to me, as i love it so much ^^
so other things doesn't really matter
you dont have a reason to like something right?
oh yeah~ maybe the pink color is too strong for the eyes
*but on the second thought, maybe i like straining your eyes ^^ *

today it is snowing and i am totally freezing T___T
i feel as if the heater in my room didnt have any use at all and should just be thrown away *LOL*
i hate the heartless cold ,but i really really reallllly love the white heartwarming snow
(but people living in moscow will probably think that snow is a not a big thing anymore cause they have it longer than we normally do in germany) but for me, white winter is preferable than cold and rainy winter . At least it is worth the cold when it snows ^^

anyway.. i do find white covered land with snow is beautiful and really love to be outside when it is snowing ^^ eventhough it will be really cold XDDDD
you have to go through something annoying or troublesome to enjoy the beautiful scenery ^^

there is a saying , when there is beauty there is also pain..
it is true.. there is a price to pay to gain something for your benefit
ages ago history had proved that people suffered in order to become more beautiful , e.g : wearing corsets , wearing metal chocker to lengthen the neck and etc etc , the list goes on..

many centuries had passed , but even so there are no big changes on how-you-have-to-suffer-to-become-beautiful , the beauty process always inflict pain to the person who seeks it be it modern or traditional methods, e.g waxing your legs or arms or maybe even the whole body? or shaping and plucking the eyebrows? ouch~~ just hearing it makes me think of the unbearable pain. It such a painful process, but many people still get them done for the sake of beauty , or so they think it that way .
btw, i never have any experience with the things stated above , just to let you guys know ....

in my opinion, beauty is abstract and it depends to the person who evaluate,i might think of an object as beautiful, but maybe it is not in your taste .. so you dont find it 'that' beautiful as i do . in this case, our view for something beautiful might differs slightly , but our mentality has been set by the fashion industry in term of 'real' beauty . For me, you dont have to go through all those painful stuff to become one . You are beautiful the way you are , we just need to appreciate on what we have and treasure it ^^

a bad thing happen today, at least i think it is...

i forgot how to multiply the vectors when i was doing some exercises on 'Element of Maschine'
how bad is that?? OMG i really learn and then forget XDDD
*nasib baik tak jadi doctor, kalau tak after every exam.. i will forget them all .. i'll never be a good doctor (nor a patience one XDDD)* how long have it been since i last properly study maths? it is really troublesome and i can't remeber it to the point that i need to reopen my math book for the formula??? I know it is one of the most basic thing in maths, and anyone who learn additional maths should not forget about that simple thing!!
yeah~ after all this i realise i am growing old indeed *hahahhahahahahahah*
sigh~

anyway~ it is bad for our 'health' to forget things we have learn before . Eventhough we .. i mean we, the students studies only for the sake of exams.. I still think it is a waste if we forget, but to remember something in long term, you will need to revise hundreds of time in order to be able to achieve it . Well... cause i'm still a student, i still dont feel that bad that i've forgot things i've learned.. maybe after my period as a student is over , i'll review things differently . Who knows?.. people change according to our surrounding . Our thinking too will mature in time . Things we thought is not important now, may be very important to us in the future

anyway~~ there is lots to do for the girl's day out event
and i'll be really busy this coming week with all the preparations with my team
hope things will go smoothly ^^ as planned

My aunt was here for the whole week and went back today (i mean, yesterday la cause it is past midnight when i write this) . Really feel that i should squeeze in her luggage this morning , so i can go back home too XDDDD . Now i really regret that i didnt actually have the courage to do so ^^ *rolling laughing on the floor*

. . . enjoy the snow
forget the cold . . .

. . . enjoy life now
forget yesterday's sorrow . . .

current mood : freezing and cold *brrrrrr*
current obsession : novel books (mysteries and triology)
current cravings : roti canai ^^ >>Nak ikut Makda balik Malaysia<<
current pet : ryo nishikado ... sgt cute XDDD
current nightmare : GDO Event !!! Too many things to manage

Look forward to it

2008-11-19T19:15:00.005+01:00

I'm organising this event with my dear brigades and nurnberger friends..
At first I am not confident enough to organize such an event, but with the help of my friends.. everything is in progresss, and hopefully will be a successful one

Many thanks to (in no praticular order)

ZIRA - who become my unoffical secretary, PR officer and Information Desk ^^
NANI - for all the ideas and managing the GDO blog
ANEZ - for all the ideas and being the treasurer
NOREEN - also for the traditional games idea and willing to "jahit the batu seremban"
ANA - for the wiilingness to prepare the food for GDO and also all the ideas
ISYQI - for being supportive and giving ideas about GDO (also.. ANA's cooking asssitant) ^^

also to SAP who help buying the stuff needed for GDO

thank you all ^^ I just cant express how thankful I am for all the works that you had contributed

*right now we are having discussion for the event, but i still managed to write this in between ^^ *

THANKS EVERYONE
without your support, this event planning will not be possible

--------> another 1 week to go for GDO..

i have lots to do ^^

wish everything went well

music of my heart

2008-11-19T01:50:00.003+01:00

just a song..
sometimes.. a song can express most of the things in the heart that we , ourself cannot express with our own words...For me, it is a perfect way of expressing emotion in a discreet way.. the meaning is deep right? there is no exact meaning to a song, how we interpret it.. it differs to each person.. maybe the song's meaning is defferent to me than to you. The things we see and hear, do not meant the same to others ..

i am undecided
i am unsure
i am too protective

am i ready to make a change in my life?

i still dont know

i cant understand it at all

Book Craze

2008-11-11T23:11:00.002+01:00

I am totally having a Book Craze right now
not to mention, yesterday i bought the whole eragon triology.. all hardcover in a box... Cost me a fortune tho.. but i'm pretty much satisfied with it

just finished reading shopaholic and baby just now.. Maybe i can write my own book review here if i have the time...^^

all this book-craze-thing proabably started when i went back for summer holidays and internet at home is 100000000x much slower than i usually have. So i have to find other things to fill up my time, so i dont be killed by boredom.. So i started reading Harry Potter form the first book until the last one... It is so interesting, that i started thinking, maybe i can do it all once again when i have the time.. Hehe.. my dad got pretty annoyed with me as i bring the harry potter book all the time with me (including during jalan raya) hahah~~ i dont know the people, so can i read my book instead?? but then.. i was forced to abandon the book in the car ... yeah yeah.. jalan raya is time for ziarah... not for me to read the intense chapters of harry potter =p

during hols.. there is always a novel in my bag, everywhere i go.. So as a result of that.. I got 2 books from my teachers before my flight back to germany.. Did the fact that i love books is so obvious?? Hehe~ but i love books ^^ I'm thinking of starting to have my own libraray at home (even tho it is kinda expensive... need to find money.... cause they dont fall from the sky...)

i love reading novels, but why oh why i am too lazy to read my notes???
a mystery indeed
maybe i should hire a sherlock-holmes-wannabe to investigate someday ^^

reading is fun

try it ^^

.on answering questions

2008-11-07T21:52:00.008+01:00

i always ponder why
why can't people answered the question that had been asked to them properly?
in some cases, they never get the question or realise that it is a question, even with the question mark properly placed at the end of the sentence

it always happen to me,
i repeat.. always happen to me
especially when i sent an SMS to someone
(someone here did not mean 'someone special' , it can be anyone in my phone book.. just to let you know, in case you've been mistaken)

picture this,
normally... just to save the bill and time
i always type one to two question in one go
but always...
YES... ALWAYS... almost all the time
i got only one answer from two that i supposed to have
which is usually the latter question's answer...
did it ever happen to you too?

and sometimes, it make me think twice..
should i asked the question back or should i just ignore it?
did that person simply didnt alert that i asked 2 question
or instead, did that person simply didnt want to answer it and feign ignorance
thinking all this in my head make me dizzy

in situation like this, i always give up on asking
because it may or may not be , a bad decision to keep on going
and also it is a quick way out to lessen the load buzzing in my head

it always happen when i sms to a guy
did guys always be this ignorant?
or they pretend to be one to suit their situation?
or are they always simply forgotten things, right after reading a text and that is maybe THE reason, why only the latter question had being answered?

owh.. i am soooo not good in psychology
thus i can never know how exactly "the human head" functioning
i mean specifically... how the men's head work..
hahahhahaha
okay~ i may have offended someone here
but hey~~ it is my opinion here...
so just stay calm.... i am not bashing men nor do i hate them neither

but i just hoping that people will actually
and truly read and listen when someone talked or asked
there are situations where the courage to asked a question
only occurs at that time, that day and that moment..

so please oh please be more sensitive

.on emotional

2008-11-07T00:47:00.009+01:00

I just finished reading the latest, my all time favourite manga ---> NANA
Go and see my friendster page if u dont believe someone like me really live in this fandom-anime-manga world. I guess, this is who i am and particularly.. i really dont hate it at all

(people who dont know me well will think it is unexpected and such)

Okay REN is dead.. I mean oficially dead and I AM SO SADDDD!!! *tears*tears*
It is obvious in someway that the story will take a 180 degrees turn like this
But it is still heart breaking. and it manages to capture me in too

sigh~ life is like this
no one can escape death , right? it is a sure thing
only we dont know when it will happen

the best thing of reading NANA is...
it is full of emotion and more humane
NANA potrays "a slice of life",
and i am not denying the romance and all
but it is true, life is not always beautiful
but we always try to seek for it

we try to have something that we dont have

i dont know if it is greed or what

but people will never satisfied right?

be it knowledge, fortune , or achivement

we always trying hard to have the thing that we dont have

for me, this "greed" can be good and also bad

who are we to judge what is right or wrong

when the difference between the two, is soo thin as a thread

there will never be an exact and right answer

but it is up to ourself to choose what we think is right

i hope i will never experience this in real life
an accident for a cause of death is too heartbreaking

and to plain shocking
let's pray it never ever ever happen to me

*yeah~ i am emotional*
(cause i dont really know how to cope with the facts if it did actually happen)

*crossed fingers*

I am Undergrad now XDD

2008-10-29T23:42:00.010+01:00

Okay~

you might be wondering

why i post this one up here out of the blue?

and in fact, what about THAT picture??

It is actually a new achivement for me

(well in a way it is XDD)

A few months back or was it last year?

I couldnt remember..

(just go search the previous entries if you are dead curious!!)

I took this test to check the reading level of my blog..

Well at first i was curious if i'll get the same result or not

But hey.. i've been promoted one rank higher ^^

Cheers for ME *clap clap*

Before I am at High School Level

Now I am an Undergrad

eventho' in reality I'm really am ^^

So I thought this will be a great thing to brag about

(If there is people who read my blog of course! I cant brag if no one knows right?)

But i doubt if there is people

who actually reading this blog

i mean, keeping track of what i've posted

well dont blame me if i think it that way

cause seriously, i've been writing nothing

but crap for the last few months..

Yeah yeah~ I was being melancholic and sad

So my entries was nothing more than sad songs

or things accociated with black birds =p

Well.. now i am back

hopefully with more exciting

and interesting things to write about

or once in a while to brag about XDDD

oh yeah~

just to let those who read this know

i'm organising an event right now

so i am quite busy with my team

we are trying our best to make a great one

but..

i will write about it next time

because it deserve an exclusive entry

on its own ^^

a bucket of past tears

2008-10-17T00:20:00.003+02:00

I want to tell and I want to tell
But my voice doesn’t reach you
I want to tell you " Thank you & good bye"
Even though words can’t exactly describe
What’s going on in me

The smell of flowers lead me
To the place where sun shines through the leaves of trees
And if I stretch my arm to this warmness of the sun
I feel as if happiness land on my hand

I want to believe because I still want to believe
That inside a human's heart there is still place for warm miracles
I want to believe and I want to believe
That someone’s life is a leading light for someone.

Whatever tragedy was buried
After all .. it will definitely becomes a seed for happiness
My falling tears can fill up a bucket
Which I will take to water the seed with

Melody of loneliness
Is carried away by the whistling of the wind
To a far place where eyes can’t see
and too far for the hands to reach

You may look different but i hope you will have the same smile

If we meet again ... someday & some place
Even though we said good bye, which will last for an eternity

warm , windy and the rain

2008-08-29T19:04:00.005+02:00

one two

get up wake up make up

three four

rush down hand down pace down

five six

turn right be right it'll be alright

have a nice summer holiday everyone ^^

unexpected coincidence

2008-07-09T13:19:00.006+02:00

the more that i love this new song,
the more i feel attached to it
not to mention, it is sang by one of my faves singers

to the extend that almost coincidence, i feel bless..
not the usual pounded sadness nor regret in me
now it is just a piece of the whole potrait , my potrait

chronicles of unexpected events, i refer that as such
nonetheless the soothing song never failed to calm me down
a twisted magic in the real realm

To You...
"Be Happy"

current mood : sleepy and half-sentimental
current obsession : chopsticks
current cravings : italian foods
current pet : Tegoshi Yuya XDDD
current nightmare : EXAMS !!

*sigh*

summer breeze~~*

2008-06-28T06:33:00.003+02:00

“Life is change.

There’s no getting around it.

The only thing you can do is let it go and move on.”

......

cold summer day

2008-06-14T08:15:00.004+02:00

its been a long time since i write my own post
dont know if anyone ever keep track of reading my blog
been on hiatus for a long time, not becuase i'm busy
just there is time that i feel that i dont want to write anything
in simple words, i dont want people to know what is my current condition
what am i up to lately and so on..
i simply want to be invisible for a while
and lay low under the radar

i dont know if i will keep posting and updating
when the wind of change comes, then maybe i'll write something
but dont hope that much either

it is summer already, but ironicly it is also cold today
or is it only me who feel this cold?
the bright and sunny day from the window
sure give a warm feeling
but truth is, it's the other way round

people tend to plan their future, "What i want to be when i grow up?"
since school i've planned on what i want to achive, but what happen whan everything i've planned been achieved already?
what is my next dream? or my next target?
i wonder about it thousands time

may i go with the flow of how things work?
or should i force through the flow and make a firm stand?
the scary part of the future, is not knowing what will happen
but if we can know what awaits us in the future, then there will be no point in living right?

an advice from a former friend , "just get it over with"
to deceive others is an eay task, but not to oneself
if that can easily be done , things will be much easier
or so i think

to be able to soar , is when u learn to stand after a fall
to be exactly know how painful it was ,
to know how much effort it takes to move forward
and to remember each tearful step taken
because learning is a life long process
experience is the master , will is the power

one should look at the bigger picture
more than looking at each piece
only then maybe one will fully understand
what exactly need to be done

Why have I fallen in Love with you?

2008-05-26T01:03:00.004+02:00

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed
I still thought you were right here
But you've already chosen a different path

Why couldn't I call out to you at all?
Every day and night growing emotions
And words overflow
But I realized that
They'd never reach you again

Since that day I first met you
I felt like I already knew you
You and I melded into each other so smoothly

It was natural for me to be where you were
The two of us grew up together
But you've already chosen a different path

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed
I still thought you were right here
Now we can't turn back

Why did I end up falling for you?
How we were before
We can't return to it anymore (I've thought it through, thought it through)

Why didn't I hold on to your hand?
No matter how much time has passed
You should've always been by my side (never changing)

But still, even if I'm nowhere near you anymore
I'm praying that you
May be happy for eternity
No matter how much that would make me lonely (no matter how lonely)

Birthday

2008-04-06T23:47:00.006+02:00

Still a few minutes to go to the end of the day ^^

Thanks for such a wonderful day ~

A nice fireworks at night *eventhough it is SOOO cold outside*

No more i can wish for except for having my friends to celebrate with me ^^

Hope I'll be someone better than before

I Love the company that i always have ^^ and Love you all

T.A.T.T.O.O

2008-04-02T02:30:00.003+02:00

No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you

I'll always have you, I'll always have you)

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you
I'll always have you)

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do

Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you

. deserted .

2008-03-29T01:13:00.003+01:00

a deserted place

far away from the look of people

always there

but not quite there

do people realise?

or they dont even seem to care?

there is still beauty lies underneath

only the worthy know its worth

" So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee "

William Shakespeare - Sonnet 18

Till I found you

2008-02-14T04:14:00.003+01:00

A song from Freestyle, came acrossed it while browsing. I think the song is so beautiful and wanted others to enjoy it too

I was alone not long ago without a love to call my own
I was afraid and thought it wasn't meant for me
I didn't need anybody else that was what I would tell myself
And I believed that that was how it would be

I used to think that I was fine, oh, that I was doin' okay
I didn't know that I was blind I just went on along my way
I didn't know what I was missing till I felt your tender lips
Kissing my fears away
I'm so glad you're here to stay

Chorus:
I never had somebody I could lean on
I never had a shoulder I could cry on till I found you baby
Till I found you...
And I never had somebody I would think about
I never had someone I couldn't do without till I found you baby
Till I found you...

I had been badly hurt before
Ever since then I would ignore a chance for love-
I thought it was a lie
I learned to rely upon myself and
I thought I was doing well until you came up with something
I just cant deny

I used to think that I was fine
Oh that I was doing alright
I would go on and do my thing
Everyday and every night
I didnt know what I was missing till I felt your
Tender love fillin me up inside
I love you with all my might

Chorus:
I never had somebody I could lean on
I never had a shoulder I could cry on till I found you baby
Till I found you...
And I never had somebody I would think about
I never had someone I couldn't do without till I found you baby
Till I found you...

And I never knew how goo a love could feel..
Till I found you
And I never thought that a love could be so real...
Till I found you..

break a treat ~~~

2008-02-10T21:59:00.000+01:00

@ Muenster's Dom

I am currently having a time of my own

Relaxing my mind and my soul

So that I'll be the person that I always know

A break is what I need right now

So I dont know if i'll write soon

Love from Krefeld =)

p/s: Wish everyone a happy day ahead

You're My Destiny

2008-01-31T16:10:00.000+01:00

This is one of my favourite performance and my favourite song of the week

It is a remake of an english song which i dont even remember the title

Anyway, this song makes me in the mood and feeling like dancing to the dance steps~

LOLs .. study stress make me wanna dance all the stress out ~~ haha~

p/s: Whats make me love this perf is because my faves boys are in it =) *grin

Embrace Life

2008-01-30T21:59:00.000+01:00

It is still exam week with 3 more kill-me-to-death papers to go until I'm finished for this not-so-cold-and-without-snow-in-nuernberg-winter semester.. =p

Even though studying is like hell and being an owl at night and only sleep after exam papers

I'm still having fun with my life, with my friends, with my passion and interest

Yes. It can be fun in a way if you know how =)

Yeah~ Study at the last minute is what i always do since I've arrived in Germany

because the semester is too short, and then suddenly exam is around the corner already

LOLs... It is time to get panic.. (actually it have to be the case if you are not ready)

But I don't. Weird isn't it?

Anyway.. I cant wait to finish all the papers and 'balik kampung' the day after that~~~

Haha~ balik kg in the sense only me & the brigades know =p

So Everyone ~~~ Aja aja Fighting!!!

p/s: Cant wait for 29th Feb =) ... Please come quickly~~~

condolence

2008-01-29T17:16:00.000+01:00

9.15pm Malaysian time

My great grandmother passed away

It took me a while to remember, when was the last time i see her

And seriously, I couldn't remember

The only thing that I remember was, I had taken a picture of her

I hurriedly search for that photo after I heard the news. It was 2 years back.

It's sure a long long time ago, when I last see her face

Now she is gone, I won't see her ever again

Rest in peace onyang.. al-fatihah

Moga rohnya di tempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman

AMIN

[The news make me remember the situation when my grandfather passed away last 2 years. It is just like the story that we always heard in essays. My grandfather passed away on 12th Jan 2006. My great grandmother also passed away in January]

walk.. walking.. walked..

2008-01-27T09:59:00.001+01:00

21 oct 2007

" as we walk our lives.

ppl get scarred.

i dun mean to.

but i wont change.

its either ur in or ur out.

its cruel i know.

wut to do?

i learn it that way too."

Love on the other side of the shore

2008-01-24T09:15:00.000+01:00

Just a song I stumbled on today. Its time to study again ~

Cheers !!

Credit : minsquare91x @ youtube

of appreciation

2008-01-22T08:14:00.000+01:00

this song is dedicated to my beloved family, my loving brigades, my dedicated teachers and also all of my friends ..

Appreciation is such a big word, we hardly express our appreciation to someone else, even with our family. It doesn't mean that we are not thankful for each other existence, it is just we seldom express it...right? I am thankful for having lots of people loving me, who feel the hurt when I'm hurting and also feel the happiness when I'm happy. I am happy that I am somebody and not a nobody. For that I am so thankful.

I am happy receiving love from everyone, and i hope i did give some love back to you guys. I'm writing this because of an incident that happened lately, and I am really touched, I am really really touched to the deepest part of my heart. So I want to say aloud that I am so happy to have you all in my life =) Thank you very much for your existence.

Love is all about giving and receiving. I'm thankful for your

LOVE

I will not be the person I am today, if I don't have you all in my life

please, good bye days

2008-01-19T16:42:00.000+01:00

this are some of the new songs that had been added to my faves list past few days.. So the first one is by a korean group - V.O.S. The song is entitled 'Please' and is also the OST for a korean movie. I just put the performance video here, because for me. the live version is always the best one from all ..

and the second video is also an OST, but for a japan movie 'Taiyo no uta' , which i had not watched it yet and the movie is about a girl who have a sun diesease, which means she cant be exposed to sun or it'll be life threatening. Weird as it sounds, the OST sounds great. Sang by Yui who is also popular for the song 'rolling star', which is the opening song for bleach anime at the moment. So people =) enjoy~~~

pretzel and cappuccino craze

2008-01-19T08:34:00.000+01:00

i am up early today due to the early night sleep that caused by my dissapointment in answering yesterday's paper ----> messtechnik.. sigh to the infinity.. again and again .. will we meet again next semester Mr Stutz? huhu~

should be revising right now for the next paper, but still not in the right mode to go through the notes.. its almost 9am but the dark clouds and damp + cold weather make me so lazy to do anything.. but yet I'm craving pretzel for breakfast.. I'm thinking of going to the bakery to buy sum hot n delicious one later.. I'll do anything to satisfy my needs, eventho I'm too lazy to do anything~ hehe...

i just started the pretzel and cappuccino craze this time around. every time I'm out to town, I'll buy pretzel.. and every time when i wanna study , I'll make my cappuccino.. eventho its an express one and cant even be compared to the one from the coffee shop... but still, i want coffee on my table =) i think I'll be a caffeine-addict anytime soon ;p

during exam period, I'm always hungry.. not that normal type of hungry, its like I'll be craving things that i don't usually buy or eat. So no wonder i always gain weight every exam period and added up with winter-cold-season that makes people eat eat eat and hibernate, it will amplify the result... i guess?

owh~ lets exam finish quickly because i want HOLIDAY to come.. haha~

i should be having my breakfast now.. the growling sounds is out of control already

weekends = hibernate ; hibernate = lazy
exam = stress ; stress = hungry ; hungry = eat more; eat more = extra weight:

sigh~

of good luck =)

2008-01-16T11:45:00.000+01:00

To Brigadess~~~

Good Luck for Exam WS07/08

also to all students that will be having their finals this week =)

the right thing to do

2008-01-12T23:36:00.000+01:00

Just watch the video up there first =) if u have the time

overall i think the song is catchy and nice + it has a deep meaning

to move on is hard, but trying not to move on is even harder. You have to let go of the things that are holding you back, in order to move on, so that you can have the most important thing in the world, which is happiness. time will heal the pain, and time will also help us to forget. VERY VERY VERY TRUE. Almost every person that is close to me, is worrying about me, not be able to move on and get out from this world-of-sober. I think my mum is always worried, once she said this to me, "Sedih lagi ke? Jangan la sedih2 lagi". Eventho' the sentence is so short and brief, but it gives a lot of impact on me.I always don't know how to react or answer to that type of question correctly, because I myself don't even know if i am still sad or not. Weird isn't it? It's just, that there were always times when i can't even analyse myself and know which state am i exactly. Am i still mad or am i not? Am i still sad or am i not? That kind of stuff..., get what i mean? I just can't find the right answer that suits me the best, or maybe i am just afraid to make a decision because i think i have the decision-making-phobia .. Opps!! I'm definitely having one =p , but is there a cure for this illness? doctors!! I need help =).. haha~

'Forget about love and sing' is such a nice phrase.

(At least i personally think it is and i'm enjoying doing that lately~ )

I'm preparing for the coming exam this few weeks.. and hope this time, everything will go smoothly... let hope it that way =) eventho i always know, hope is less likely transform into reality. Such as, hoping the next exam paper to be easy eventhough the questions always get tougher and tougher every semseter. If the angel of miracle come down on the day of exam, then it's a different story.. but i know the angel of miracle is always busy =p no time to decend to earth... hehe~ (fairytales always sounds good to me, btw people - Germany is the origin of fairytale, which means the original fairytale were written in deutsch and then translated to many languages)

Today in Nuernberg : Solat Hajat and Bacaan Yasin for the coming exam. The best part was the PARTY afterwards, with pizzas, cakes and poker cards... Which like two contradicting events combined together at the same time =p . But it was actually fun and entertaining, everyone seems to forget for a while that exam is actually this week.. Haha~ anyway all the best to all =)

The best part is : I think i can start to move on now, because i finally know how to let go ;p

Ghosts, Spirits, Demon!!

2008-01-10T00:22:00.000+01:00

Ejat suddenly asked me to watch these video some time ago.. And even tho i am afraid of scary stuff like this, i watched it anyway~for me it is TOTALLY FREAKY~~ I don't know if these video are lame or whatsoever to some of you~ but just watch it anyway =) and make sure u have your eyes glued to the screen all the time =) heh~ enjoy~

Total Failure

2008-01-09T00:33:00.000+01:00

I HATE PUDDING CUSTARD ~~

(yeah..'HATE' in pink colour is totally not making any sense =p)

for the 5th time, i failed on making one again..

duh~ do i have no sense in cooking?
or do i have two left hands? ,
okay, okay.. it must be something wrong with the milk..
i've done nothing wrong... hahaha~
(words to make myself better..haha,

even i know there's no logic at all)

maybe cooking during exam-fever-period

is NOT a good thing at all...
but i really want to eat pudding custard...

i want my mummy... huhu~~~

(actually it should be this : i want my mummy make the pudding for me..haha)

am i behaving weirdly under pressure?
sorry for this lame post =P

just wanna express my disbelief

exam is driving me nuts...

it's sure is

You're my everything

2008-01-07T22:29:00.000+01:00

I only wish that our times together

The days I waited for you

Won't be easily forgotten

Why are you changing? Am I making if hard for you?

I know you so well that I know what you're feeling

By just looking into your eyes

Everlasting, you are my everything

I loved you so much more than myself

You used to be my everything

I'll let your go so you'll be free

I don't want to let you go

But no matter how I feel, no matter what anyone says,

I've just got let you know

Whether you're here or not, my feelings won't change

I'm using all the courage I recently discovered

I hurt inside, since it's too late,

I need you back here in my life please

I already knew that it wouldn't be easy

You aren't the only one in this world

When these hardships are eventually forgotten,

I hope my life is back the way it used to be

My loving feelings feelings for you are everlasting

You are all I have, my everything

It must have been a mistake being together for so long

Did we drift away because we were too familiar with each other?

Everlasting, you are my everything

I loved you so much more than myself

You used to be my everything

I'll let your go so you'll be free

Don't worry, I'm all right now

Don't be sad, I know how you feel

Your feelings are your own

So let them be somewhat content

When you're frustrated, let out a scream

Plead your friend for company at times

Untie your ponytail and dance at a club

Because you're prettier that way

Tears continue to fall from my lies

Even after you leave,

my feelings will always linger around you

Everlasting, you are my everything

Each day without you is meaningless

I will try to forget you, I'll let you go

I'm in a lot of pain, but don't worry

Even if you go

I will still be able to live by imagining you

If you ever come back, then I won't let you go

I won't make it possible for you to leave again

Happy new year 2008

2008-01-02T00:51:00.000+01:00

Good bye 2007 ** Welcome 2008

Its new year already...

Looking back at 2007, many things had happen through the year but still, i feel like time fly so fast, that i barely can manage to catch my breath... So 2007 is already a history and 2008 is the present. Did i ever have a new year resolution in my life? I don't think i have seriously do that every year, because I don't think I will follow my resolution for the year if I ever have one. But this year it is kinda different, out of the blue i suddenly have the urge to think and make up my new year resolution. So this is it

to stay healthy, be happy and being my self

I think that all the above are important for me (right now), after going through a series of 'roller-coaster-ride' last year. To be happy is such and important thing, and it is not always easy to be one..It is true, that the past can teach us many things that we can't never learn in class, and my past had thought me a lot. To be a better person, i need to keep improving myself from all aspects and I plan to be someone that can be proud of. For now, I just need to find my true self and of what i want to do in my life, because whatever happen life still goes on, as long as I still alive. I know many people want to have a fresh start in 2008, so i wish you guys have a good start =), but unfortunately it is not the case for me. I have to sit for my finals 0n 18th Jan, which is pretty soon because it is new year already, and the bad news is, i still don't feel afraid... Yikes! I always tend to panic when finals is approaching. But wait! did i changed in 2007? Maybe yes, maybe no... So whats your pick? ~ heh ^_^

I hope everyone will have a great year ahead than last year. And i wish everyone to be happy everyday in your life. To students in Germany.. Good Luck for finals~~ aja aja fighting!! hehe ~

Oh~ lupe pulak... To all futsal teams... Good Luck for your game tomorrow =)

Sorry for not updating for so long, I was in Egypt last week, but will write about it soon~~

Prague Astronomical Clock

2007-12-21T01:22:00.000+01:00

The must visit place in Prague for me of course are the 'weird looking' astronomical clock and Charles bridge.. I even bought a drawing of the clock as souvenir because i found it is really a wonderful masterpiece.. Basically, most people will have their pictures taken with the clock in the background.. It is one of the main tourist attraction..

Our picture with the clock

When i was there, I wondered how can we read the clock.. So i make some research bout it and found this picture~ which i thought is so cool and wanted to post it here =)

Credit to Wikipedia

Toledo-The UNESCO World Heritage

2007-12-20T20:29:00.000+01:00

Toledo Skyline Panorama, Spain

Toledo was famed for religious tolerance and had large communities of Muslims and Jews until they were expelled from Spain in 1492 (Jews) and 1502 (Muslims).

I also visited Toledo during my trip to Madrid which is situated only 70km to the south. It is a must place to visit if you are in Madrid because believe me, Toledo is so breathtaking.. No wonder it is listed in the UNESCO World Heritage due to its location, building and also arts..

Toledo is famous for its unique geometric 24K gold design which are commonly used on jewellery and decorative items. I bought a bangle and necklace because i just love the unique design~~ But be careful when you want to buy them, because there are also designs that have the Jewish symbols on it.

Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Birthday

2007-12-19T00:00:00.000+01:00

It is Hari Raya once again, and it fall on weekdays.. Which mean, I have classes on Hari Raya.. but i have get used to it =) Wish you all esp my family Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin.. It would be great to celebrate raya at home~~ But this is the path that I've choose =) just be happy with it

Selamat Hari Raya to all and Happy Birthday especially to Haniz.. We've grown 1 year older again~~ ah~ We've become an adult already~~ Too early to be one i guess~~ hehe.. WE still love to play rite? ^_^

Also no exception even tho it is Hari Raya, a Korean MV

F.T Island - Until you come back

arts and civilization

2007-12-18T22:12:00.000+01:00

When i was in Madrid few weeks back with my parents, we went to see the traditional Flamenco dance with the Malaysian delegates, of course.. My family don't appreciate arts and music so much, but because it was in the programme, so we just tag along~~ ^_^ During our dinner, i heard someone said this, but i cannot remember who said that..

" If you cannot appreciate arts, then you are not civilize"

and i was like, "What?" I wonder what have civilization and arts in common? Until now, i still cant understand ~ heh..

So we went to see the dance and halfway through my mum and i felt sleepy already.. True, engineers hardly can appreciate arts~ heh~ i just thought it was ok, not that spectacular, even though the performer is one of the well known dancer in Madrid..

What exactly is Flamenco dance?

Flamenco is a Spanish musical genre with strong, rhythmic undertones and is often accompanied with a similarly impassioned style of dance characterized by its powerful yet graceful execution, as well as its intricate hand and footwork. Although considered part of the culture of Spain in general, flamenco actually originates from one region, Andalusia. The roots of flamenco are not precisely known, but it is generally acknowledged that flamenco grew out of the unique interplay of native Andalusian, Islamic, Sephardic, and Gypsy cultures that existed in Andalusia.

I found one video on you tube, just in case some of you want to see the dance =)

Actually, when we saw the dance in Madrid, we actually confused whether the dancer is a girl or a transgender~ heh.. that attracts my interest more than the dance itself =p

back at last

2007-12-16T21:20:00.001+01:00

Toledo - Spain

I am away lately because i went to a short holiday with my parents.So ponteng class bout 4 days~ haha~ went to Madrid and Toledo in Spain. It was the first time i traveled alone to Madrid and nasib baik sempat kejar a connecting flight in Zurich due to flight delay from Germany~~ (i met up with my parents in Madrid) it was fun to visit other country, but the only thing that bothers me is the language..feel slightly uncomfortable because not many people in Madrid can speak English nor German, so sign language is the only solution..heh~ i only know Buenos Dias and Por Favour~~simple basic phrase.. So holiday is over and exam is on the way~ haha~ holiday dulu baru exam..what do u think?

just now watched fireworks from my bedroom window~ so beautiful~

Hope everyone is happy right now =)

and my all time favourite song

Taylor Dayne - Love will lead you back

Busy..busy..busy..

2007-12-11T12:01:00.000+01:00

Our picture in Prague.. last 2 weeks =)

The first post in December~~

Christmas holiday on the way..

and I'm also in a holiday mood =)

ha ha~

will write again asap..

but for now, 'I'm too packed'

when plans gone wrong

2007-11-30T18:56:00.000+01:00

okay.. i am supposed on the train to Prague right now, but because of some incident.. we have to postpone our trip until tomorrow morning... which is of course, kind of frustrating... i don't have any idea what to write right now cause i am still hot headed...

phew~ calm down... so to release all this stress i browsed my friends blog and come across the blog readability test and it come out like this..

and i am so proud of it... eventhough same je with Layla's ~~ hahaha ~~

going to christkindersmarkt right now with the incomplete brigades~~ nasib baik we have something going on here... at least we can still have something to do tonight..

roger and out~~

check this hip hop + orchestra version

Big bang - Lies

Sorry people...i am really into Korean music right now =)

Because of the Tag game

2007-11-30T00:55:00.000+01:00

Because of the tag game that almost all blogger participate into, I have to write something about one topic i don't really want to write about, but i have to, because I've been tagged by shida...
Thanks to you, i don't have any idea what to write..
so here is the topic that i should write..

Rules:
1. The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT. (- ____ -)

Okay... this is a very hard topic..heh~
i do want a MALE perfect lover.. I'm straight OK?

And this is what i can come up in my mind when i think about the characteristics that i want in my perfect lover... as if I'll find him someday with all that =p high expectation.. i know~ i know~ human is not perfect, but what's wrong with that?

1. HE who actually listens and understands

I really want someone who understand me, because most people will have a hard time to do that..I do not follow a pattern and i am unpredictable...Unpredictable in everything that i do..I may surprise people with my doings.. Apart from understanding, i need someone that i can talk about everything that i have in my complicated-mind..From the girl stuff to cars.. He who can be my best friend + lover at the same time.. I really need someone like that~~

2.HE who is sincere and can be trusted

Sincere in relationship is so important.. I want the relationship to be transparent.. Too many secrets will occur as a problem, when one by one reveals itself, then start la 'the world war 3' or be it 'the cold war' pun... it will surely create problems. Trust is the only thing that will keep the relation strong.. and surely to trust someone is not easy, believe me

3.HE who is a family-man

Family first... for me it is so important no matter how busy you are, no matter how much work you have to manage and done,family should be the top priority in your list at all time. To be raised by both working parents, i am contented because no matter how busy they are,they will try to be at home during the night and weekends. So I'm definitely will find someone who is also a family-man

4.HE who doesn't smoke

I hate people who smoke around me, well.. i can stand the smell once in a while even though we(the smoker and i) are in the same room, but i just can't tolerate if the 'smoke come directly' at my face.. So how can i be with someone who smoke? heh.. i don't hate smokers, no offence, i just have my ideals..hehe

5.HE who is full of surprises

Okay.. it doesn't have to be romantic, but a simple surprise can make me happy... I am someone who will notice quickly if something is going to happen, i have this 'six-sense' which telling me that the other person is doing something to surprise me.. So to make me totally surprised is a hard thing to do, cause i do speculate a lot when the other person action is suspicious.. But what most important is the effort the other person put in to make the surprise =)

I think i can only think of 5 things that i search in a man that i want to love.. Sorry shida, i don't have any idea to write up to 8 things, but for me 5 is more than enough.. To love and to be loved might seem so simple, but it is not.. You put your life in it and if it didn't work out, you will feel that you cannot live anymore. For now i am not searching for a man, cause i just wanted to be on my own. Maybe it is still not the time for me to think about finding someone, still not the time..

I hope I'll meet someone that can make me happy one day
To feel the love,to love,to be loved, to share and to care

So if you have someone that you really love and thinking of spending your life with that person, just take care of that person carefully, cause you never know yet how it feels if you lost that person..

I'm going to Prague this weekend and its true that i had been in 'holiday-mood' last few days..
So guys... have a nice weekend, cause I'm going to enjoy mine =)

An addictive song from Samsung Anycall commercial.. LOVE the song~
It is also a high-budget commercial filmed in Brazil

Anyband -Talk, Play, Love

Also dedicated to all brigades.... Noreen pun dah ter'sangkut' kat lagu nih =)

incident of an accident

2007-11-26T20:21:00.000+01:00

today i saw an accident when i was on my way to univ
it was not a big accident, thank god =)

but what attracted my attention was.. the two cars was blocking the way
and they CANNOT move their vehicle,
not even an inch just to let other road users pass,
until the police come to the scene.. and people over here really FOLLOW the rules.. maybe they need to preserve the crime-scene so they can claim for insurance or whatsoever~ and of course it caused a massive jam..the 2 cars even blocked the tram's way and 2 trams had to wait patiently before they can move again, they can't do anything until the police come to the rescue, takkan nak langgar kereta tu pulak kan?... but strangely, other drivers that stucked in that situation, didn't made such commotion like honking to each other like the typical-Malaysian-scene.. heh~ most Malaysian show their true colours behind the wheels =p they transformed..

i wonder what will happen if we have such rules in Malaysia? Will we Malaysians follow the rule? and will we be brave enough to be the cause for a massive traffic jam?
I don't think so~
what do u all think?

We need to train our drivers to be more rational and patient on the road.. so accidents will not be the major cause of death in Malaysia, apart from heart attack ~ But the big question is.. HOW?

just a thought ...

i was in this car when the accident happen 2 years ago..such a frightening memory and caused other-people-driving-me-phobia for a period.. for those who supported me during this tough time..thank you very much

note: i was not the one driving the car at that time

ironically, we (4 people) went to HKL to visit a friend and on the way back we ended up in the hospital as well.. only at a different wing.. the emergency wing..

a memory that will always be a part of me

make sure u have enough rest before driving, or u might endanger other's life

(if u don't travel alone)

what does it mean?

2007-11-24T00:47:00.000+01:00

i have to learn about microprocessor lately..
but what is a microprocessor?
i just know that my laptop have one in it
the intel centrino duo..

but what exactly microprocessor is?
i'm having a hard time just to imagine how an electrical circuit function
i mean, the complex one with lots of small stuff in it..
how can i imagine how a microprocessor do it works?

that's why i hate electronic stuff, because i cant imagine how they work
and when i cant imagine them, i cant understand them..
i just memorize and write it out in the exam =p voila~~ simple solution
but not recommended..heh~

do u want to know what exactly microprocessor is?
check this cool video out =)

What does Intel's new 45nm Penryn chip mean?

and a cute animation from intel ~~

in the race to be no 1

2007-11-23T01:10:00.000+01:00

As the world moving forward, people are racing to be the best
trying the hardest to be the no 1 in their fields...
this competition had started decades ago
it will never ever fade and will always continue until...
until the time that given to us is over... i presume?

people will fight to be on top
people will do just anything for name, glory, pride etc
history have proved that people sacrifice almost everything to attain glory
it is just a natural thing in our community
or maybe i should reconstruct it a lil bit..
it is just a natural thing in our world, to be precise..

it is amazing how the competition can produce such a great technology and design ... i am amazed with the burj Dubai which is still under construction, but is holding the title of the tallest building on planet earth right now.. and still the final height is being kept secret by the developers..

too much wonders of the world are being constructed in Dubai from my point of view..
thanks to the ambitious king of UAE who spent 'many' billions of their oil money to build a city for the rich... he always want to make the impossible possible..such as bring the world to Dubai. who would ever think they'll build man-made islands and have the shape of the world? it is really a radical idea, but yet people really buying the estate .... which the price i can never afford if i worked my entire life.. crazy people with their crazy luxurious world.. yeah~ it is a world that we may not know what its probably like =p

and this article is from How Stuff Work website....

" On July 22, 2007, the Burj Dubai hit 1,680 feet, pushing ahead of Taiwan's Taipei 101 by 13 feet. The Burj then quickly surpassed Toronto's 1,815 foot CN Tower, which held the title of world's tallest freestanding structure for 31 years. As of October 2007, the Burj spans 1,922 feet and 156 floors"

The racing to be the no 1 still continues
will we involved in this race also one day ? god only knows...
But i am amazed with the technology they used to build this huge monument...
From engineering point of view,
this building is a masterpiece =)

and a clip that i found on you tube

there is another video that is better than this one,but i cant embed it. so just click here

credit to radin for the title =)

a picture speaks thousand words

2007-11-23T00:47:00.000+01:00

Just recovered from this season sickness

and came across this picture

while 'untreasured' the treasure in my hard disk =p

go figure =)

food for the soul

2007-11-20T20:07:00.000+01:00

i just watched this video at mar's blog
and i decided to post it here too

cause i think sometimes we need to be reminded
because we easily forget~~

so watch this one for your soul ~~

Credit to mardhiah (becok-dalam-lena) for the nice video

the pure excitement of selamat malam

2007-11-20T19:04:00.000+01:00

it happened to me twice this week
and i am totally proud
when the german's greet me in my own language
priceless~~

the first encounter was last weekend
when me and my friends were on the way to the main railway station from the old town, we took the underground train. What suprised us the most was, the train driver greet us 'Selamat Malam' from the loud speaker..yes, it was about 7pm lebey kurang... I couldnt believe it at first, and i thought maybe i misheard what he actually said..but all of us heard the same thing and happy that somone greet us that way.. We were totally excited~~
the best thing was, after we arrived the main station, the driver waited for us because we were walking towards him at that time..Ah~ for those yg tak tahu.. the train driver have to step out from the train every time they reach a station, just to make sure everyone's safety and closed the door with a button, which is also on the outside of the train... Then he asked " Dari Malaysia? " and we replied proudly..'ye~~' before taking the elevator up...

It feels so great when others that didnt speak your own language greet you in your language.. for me, that also mean, they know about us, our country and also learn a little bit of our language =) the second encounter happened today during my electronic lab.. the lab assistant said "Selamat Malam" to me when i was about to leave the room~~ and i was like... what? he know BM jugak sikit2? hehe~ and i was smiling all the way out =)

proud to be malaysian
proud when other people learn our language~~
proud when they greet me that way
and to all~~ SELAMAT MALAM =)

now i know that for sure, with only greetings
you can make people extremely happy~~
like me =)

of the things that i enjoy

2007-11-19T22:12:00.000+01:00

i was tagged by layla on what five things i enjoy in my life right now.

so here are the 5 things in no particular order ~~~

1. watching english series

yups.. i do enjoyed watching series since i was small .. now i wait every week for grey's anatomy season 4 episode.. i dont know why i suddenly become a huge fan of meredith grey, but sometimes i do think that we coincidencely have a similar life.. i mean not all of it.. but some of them.. apart from the drama in the series, i also loved the medical part.. it seems like being a doctor is a cool job..hehe~ eventhough reality is not as easy as it potrayed, i do think medicine is an interesting field to learn..maybe i should be a doctor instead? i know~ i know~ it is too late to change my decision =p ... and lately i've been following pushing daisy under someone's influence ( u know who u are =P) ... also adding to the list : CSI's, heros and dr.house ...

2. travel

who doesnt love to travel? i always love it.. living in germany which is situated almost at the center of europe, the urge to travel is really huge.. imagine, we have czech republic at the right, austria and switzerland at the south, france at the left and lots of other countries neighbouring this country.. money and time are the only reasons why i can't travel everyday =p hehe~

next stop : prague, madrid and egypt ~~

3. korean songs

my sister is the only reason why i started to involve in this korean thingy~~ back when i was in malaysia, she always listened to korean songs. one time i was borrowing her mp3 player, and all the song in it are korean songs. i managed to listen to one song and it didnt interest me at that particular time.. but as the situation turned more than 180 degrees now, all thanks to her who copied all her mp3 songs in my laptop before i went to germany, she spread the virus to me. hehe~... now i am madly in love with korean songs and i DO listen to them EVERYday =p ...

current top song : Forever Love - DBSK

4. desserts

i do love to bake.... and i do love to eat them.. that's the only reason i learn to make them. the only thing that i had baked so far was choc brownies.. but i will try to bake apple pie and choc cakes when i have the mood and time soon.. thanks to zira's and nani's recipes, i'll grow my interest in baking even more.. i also make custard pudding and agar-agar buah from time to time hehe~ apart from that.. choc cookies, cheese cake and pizza are also on my learn-how-to-bake-list

5. blogging

i love to write and i love to blog.. i know that my grammar is not that strong..

and i do make mistakes here and there sometimes.. but it didnt stop me to write.. living in a country that rarely used english, it is difficult for me to practice my english.. i tend to forget the vocabs and of course the grammar.. i am not a language person. means -->i am not someone who can learn and master a language as good as people with language talents.. I'm living in Germany about 1 year now, but still my deutsch is not that good.. i cant converse and express what i think completely in this language and i still have a lot to learn..

but all in all, writing is always my passion and also one of the things that i enjoy doing ~

the tag from shida have to wait for a while

cause i need to think hard about that one =p

but I'll post it soon

of being together

2007-11-19T21:52:00.000+01:00

i really LOVE ...
when all of my friends gather around at one place
loved the laugh, the smile, the jokes.. all of it
last weekend was a blast..
i've had fun .... thanks to the 'raya grand nuernberg xoxo'..
so just watch the compiled pictures in this clip~~
raya = lots of picture taken =)

i did not involved at all in making this clip
just a passerby~ heh~
credit to noreen,zira,nani and anez
janna~ ko ade involve jugak ke? haha~

tough day

2007-11-13T21:55:00.000+01:00

too tired to do anything today
too many things happend today

and yeah~ i remember something..
i know my english is not that good
but i'm trying my best..
there are many grammar mistakes on my previous previous post
i know that.. i know my language is not perfect
and i know some of you talked about it :p
no offence..

frankly said, i almost forget all the grammar rules of english
so.. correct me if i'm wrong..
tell it straight to me ok?
=) its much better that way right?

enjoy this song~~
one of my faves right now

Bunga Citra Lestari - Ingkar

pardon me if this post hurt anyone's feeling
just wanted to express myself..

to do list..

2007-11-10T11:13:00.000+01:00

i know i am being obsess to writing these days.. but i cant help it because it helps me to be happy and to forget all the sad things.. it is like a distraction where i can stop wondering about 'too-many-things' and just concentrate on me, on what do i love to write down.. yeah, for me..it is like a therapy.. to write and express myself..

on to the topic.. i am at rosenheim currently, hijacking noreen's laptop for a while to write something on.. so this morning i saw this video clip on blogger dashboard..
it is about to do list.. i love to write to-do-list all the time.. just list for shopping and tasks.. not yet for places i have to visit before i die, things i have to do before graduating..etc etc.. the list go on.. wish i could have the book.. sigh~ why do i live in germany?

enjoy the preview =) interesting

of being yourself

2007-11-09T20:35:00.000+01:00

to be yourself and to let people know you because of who you are...is really an important thing...to me it is..i always want people to know me because of who i am and being happy with it...not because of who my family is ..or to be exact..of who my father is

yeah~ true..my dad is a great name..some of the people that i know, know him.i cant deny that and i cant stop people from knowing about the facts.. i also didnt want to hide it.. it is just, before they know my background..i really hope they know me because of who i am and because of what i am capable of.i had never taken advantage of my dad's position to my own good.. it is really not my style

i have always put in effort in achieving everything that i want
and working hard to earn my goals with my own potential.. there was times when i feel hurt back then, when people rumored that i managed to get into the german-alevel-preparatory-program (GAPP) at GMI because of my dad..which is so not true~~hello!! check my SPM-cert. dulu la before u say that!(hahah~ eventhough cerita lama, still x puas hati)

it pains me when i hear those type of rumors.. they had already judged me because of who's daughter i am and not because of who i exactly am..can you put yourself in my shoe? what will you feel if that happen to u?
of course mad..arent u?

eventhough my dad had left gmi when i entered, people always remembered me or referred me as my dad's daughter.. some didnt even remember my name..
i always didnt have the chance to put my first impression on other people because some of them already know who i am before i introduce myself..and when people know who you are, people always have high expectation about you..right? people will wonder if i have the same characters like my dad or if i do carry my dad's qualities....it is so typically normal for us malaysian to think about the unimportant details.. and when you are not up to the par, then again... people talks~~hate when it happen (really want to plaster those sumber gossip! haha~)

i've had a tough time during the orientation week at gmi and i swear, that was the one time that i wish not to go through again... not even once.. because of who's daughter i am..i've always been called by the facilitators, and asked to do lots of things..such as..giving opinion in front of crowd (i hate this one because i've always dont have any idea what to talk at that time),then asked to suruh org beratur and give kawad instruction (what the hell~ people who know me at school..u guys know that i always hate marching kan?..) i had to do all that eventhough we do have our captain who are responsible to all of that...urgh~ just because i was more 'well-known' at that particular time.. i was their favourite choice ..

i did well that time, and i managed not to lose my temper or cry during those 3 days outcampus programme.. and because i know people will be talking about me if i done something outrageous, i keep my serious-rarely-smiling-face on most of the time.. but during the way back from the camp to kl.. i broke down at last.. well~~ nobody really noticed because almost everyone was sleeping soundly.. that was the one and only time that i really hate to be known.. and it is now part of my memory that i'll always treasure

so.. because i really had to be good and doing great in my studies in gmi.. it caused a big burden to me..and i did once questioned myself..why do i accepted this program... i always do this when under pressure. i'm afraid if i didnt excel, people will talk behind my back, and of course..my dad's name will be tagged along

many things happen after that... now i finally get to do my degree here in germany.. to be myself and show my true colours are so important to me..because it didnt satisfy me if people be nice to me because of my father.. happend to me few times.. and i really hate it so much

so i hope.. you guys really wanted to know me because of who i am and not because of my blood-relation...i do have my own name okay? and not anak kepada ... bla~ bla~

to be SOMEBODY is really a hard thing to do

enough 'blabbers' for today :)

this is today's song.. not related to the topic at all.. just because it was subbed by haniz and nani.. they are really hardworking and currently really enjoying the world of 'subbers' (is it the right word?) .. so i posted it here..

Super Junior - Marry U
will there be someone that will say this things to me
i dont really know.. i hope there is
and i hope he is the person that i hope he is
^^broken heart mode^^

das beste

2007-11-08T14:26:00.000+01:00

Okay.. today i've been addicted to a song.. which is the one below.. i know this song is an old song..and i'm sorry cause i dont follow the music industry here in germany even though i live in their country now.. ask me about korean music industry.. then i can answer all your question..heh~ that is when technology be in handy.. all at the end of your fingertips. u can still keep updated on something..even you are worlds apart.. interesting huh? that is TECHnology~ that we all seem to loved :p

nowdays inventors are trying to invents products with less mechanical and more electrical stuff..yes.. agreed. my prof said that to us in class.. imagine saying that to a whole class of mechanical engineers to be..almost everyone felt a little bit annoyed..sigh~ ...when the world of technology become more wide spread and advanced, gadgets tend to get smaller and smaller..and also "weightless" .. so my electrical prof proudly told us the mechanical engineers wannabe that electrical is 'in' nowday.. which indirectly mean, we should learn to be electrical engineers instead... double the sigh~

by the way.. i dont really like learning electronics.. so in today's electronic class (which is only once a week) .. we was bored as always..everybody seem to be doing their own stuff.. all those gadgets freaks with their laptop ..those who like to talks..talked a lot.. can win a story telling competition rasanye.. and those who like to play, sleep, eat.. do whatever they want to do.. as always..
maybe just the first row and the second row are paying full attention to the lecture

baws fall asleep several times, and we kinda play pranks on him while he was sleeping, epi and his sim walter was having BM language class, anez was concentrating for a while, and kadang2 borak with timie.. and i? i listen to the music on epi's psp.. yeah for these guys ..thursday is always psp game day at class.. haha~ so at his psp i discovered this song.. which captured me in an instant.. so because this is my 'hasil' during my electronic class. . i posted it here..as remembrance..haha~

anyway people~ enjoy this song.. =)

Silbermond - Das Beste

Ich habe einen Schatz gefunden
und er trägt deinen Namen
so wunderschön und wertvoll,
von keinem Geld der Welt zu bezahlen

Du schläfst neben mir ein,
ich könnt’ dich die ganze Nacht betrachten
Seh’n wie du schläfst, hör’n wie du atmest,
bis wir am morgen erwachen

Du hast es wieder einmal geschafft,
mir den Atem zu rauben
Wenn du neben mir liegst,
dann kann ich es kaum glauben,
dass jemand wie ich, sowas Schönes wie dich,
verdient hat

Refrain:
Du bist das Beste was mir je passiert ist
es tut so gut wie du mich liebst
Vergess’ den Rest der Welt,wenn du bei mir bist
Du bist das Beste was mir je passiert ist
es tut so gut wie du mich liebst
ich sag’s dir viel zu selten,es ist schön, dass es dich gibt

Strophe:
Dein Lachen macht süchtig,
fast so als wär’ es nicht von dieser Erde
auch wenn deine Nähe Gift wär’,
ich würd bei dir sein,
solange bis ich sterbe

Dein Verlassen würde Welten zerstör’n,
doch daran will ich nicht denken
Viel zu schön ist es mit dir,
wenn wir uns gegenseitig Liebe schenken

Betank mich mit Kraft
Nimm mir Zweifel von den Augen
Erzähl’ mir 1.000 Lügen,
ich würd’ sie dir alle glauben
Doch ein Zweifel bleibt,dass ich,
jemand wie dich, verdient hab’

Refrain
Strophe:
Wenn sich mein Leben überschlägt,
bist du die Ruhe und die Zuflucht
Weil alles was du mir gibst,einfach so unenendlich gut tut
Wenn ich rastlos bin, bist du die Reise ohne Ende
deshalb lege ich meine kleine, große Welt in deine schützenden Hände

#Translation#
I have found a treasure
and that is you
so beautiful and precious
no money in the world can pay it

you fell asleep next to me
i can gaze to you all night long
see how you sleep, hear how you breath
until we wake up in the morning

you have managed again
to take my breath away
when you lie next to me
i can barely believe
that someone like me deserve someone
so beautiful like you

Refrain
You are the best that ever happened to me
it feels so good how do you love me
i forgot the rest of the world
when you’re by my side
You are the best that ever happened to me
it feels so good how do you love me
i say it too seldom
it’s nice that you’re always there

Verse
Your laugh makes me addicted
seems like it were not from this earth
when to be near you is toxic
i would still be with you
until i die

your abandonment would take the world apart
but i don’t want to think about it
it is beautiful to be with you
when we give love to each other

fuel me with energy
take the doubts from my eyes
even you tell me 1000 lies,
i would believe them all
but still a doubt is left
that i deserve someone like you

Refrain
Verse
when my life tumble
you are the peace and shelter
’cause all that you give to me
simply feels endlessly good
when i’m unresting,
you are the trip without end
therefore i lay my small,
big world in your protective hand

this song is also specially dedicated to the one person that i had recently lost
dont get what i mean? scroll down

on missing home

2007-11-07T18:39:00.000+01:00

eventhough it only been one month after i'm back here in this cold-weather-land of germany.. i still miss home, in fact.. who dont? i've been missing home so much lately.. maybe because i'm in a self-made-complicated-situation lately.. when i'm feeling that way, i'll tend to think about home.. no matter how far i am.. i always thinking about home and also my life in malaysia.. i am not homesick or whatever that equals that.. i just miss the comfort at home.. for me.. i have my own comfort zone, where i can be myself and no one will think bad about what i'm doing and acting.. eventhough i'm always this fierce-cold-hot-headed sister to my siblings.. but i love the way i am when i'm around them..

i didnt spent too much time at home.. being away since i'm 13 years old until now.. home is the least place where i spent my youth..i am not too close with my parents, i still have this limits or this some sort of wall between me and them. my parents are my parents and i just cant seem to tell everything honestly.. i am not a good daughter.. i know about that, but i'm doing my best to be one.. i am not a daughter who never lied, it is just i dont know how to tell them..and i dont know if it is okay to tell them the truth..will they be mad? will they freak out? will they be sad? i'm not strong enough to know the outcome..

when i'm going out with someone..i always told that i'm going out with my friends..i really regret i cant tell the truth.. or maybe i dont even have the courage to do so.. i am afraid to know what will happen after i told them about it.. sometimes i feel that i wanted to tell eveything honestly...but i'm still afraid.. a coward am i? sorry mum and dad for lying about things like that..i'm not ready yet to tell... until now i cant tell my mum everything about me, eventhough deep down i really wanted to do so.. i want to be best friends with my mum too.. but that is not the case.. i always envy my friends who can be friends with their mother, share everything together.. a place to turn into on every situation.. i really do envy them..i think that is not a simple thing to do.. and i really feel jealous about this.. i mean in a good way.. i hope one day i will be comfortable to tell my mum everything.. because she understands me more than other people do

i'm holding back my tears when writing this... i dont know why i'm like this..

2007 is a year, where many things happen.. many things changes and some damage cant even be corrected.. it is too late to apologize or to make something better... i really regret of all the things and bad decision that i've done.. which is totally inhumane.. i'm getting my punishment right now on my action.. that was the biggest mistake i ever done.. and sorry cant solve everything kan?

do it ever happen to you that u never realise something until it is really totally gone and out of your radar? hurtful isnt it? yeah ~ i tend to follow what i want really strongly, but not thinking rationally of the effect of my action.. i am someone who always make decision but tend to regret it later.. it is in my nature and i just cant even managed to change it.. time like this, i'm thinking of my mum.. and wanted her to hug me and tell me that things will get better.. at times like this i wish i'm at home.. and not somewhere far from home....

this emotional thingy really get me this time isnt it?
sometimes i just wanna close my eyes and think of home
it always make me better for a while..

people always need someone when they are sad or in difficult situation..
not to solve the problem.. but just to hear and to comfort
that is more than enough to give strength
i always have this someone that i can talk to on everything
but i've been loosing this someone
and i really totaly feel at loss..
as i keep everything to myself ,
things wont seem to get better
i just wish that i can tell my mom about this
and get it over with
i really need to find someone to be for me when i need them..
i do need at least one..

ah~ sorry people.. i just burst it out here..
didnt meant for u guys to read all this melancholy words..
i just wrote as if someone died right? that kind of tone
i know.. i always wrote about sad stuff right?
haha~ i just cant help myself..
sorry =)
and hope everyone have a lovely day
even its been freaking-cold-raining-season lately..
but keep that smile on your face..
(even i'm forcing to put one on mine) haha~
love you guys..

love my family even more =)
as quote from lilo and stitch
"ohana - no body gets left behind or forgotten "
and also "family always stick together"

so just love your family with all the LURVE in the world ~~

on making mistakes

2007-11-04T22:46:00.000+01:00

Everyone make mistakes..
We are humans... we can't run away from making them

No one is created with all those perfection

NO ONE...

why?
because we are all created that way..
so we can learn from our mistakes

sometimes, we do make mistakes more than once

people said we never learn

but it is such a hard thing to change

and to avoid repeating the past

we normally learn when something went wrong ..
and we will react to that

you will think that you more practice to make something perfect
you will need to rethink and reconsider again

you will basically improving yourself

" A person who never make a mistake never tried anything new"
- Albert Einstein

It is so true about what Einstein said

we need to make mistake to learn about life,

about studies, about love, about work

and practically almost everything in our life

so dont be afraid of making mistakes
because mistakes teach you to be a better person
you just have to accept it and think positive =)

so i'm also not afraid making mistakes..

although i do made a lot of them...
and i'm glad i've learned a lot from that =)

tomorrow is monday already..
why weekend past so quickly??
heavy and packed classes on the way..
gotta get fully prepared..heh

live up life ~~

Malaysian VS German Students part 2

2007-11-01T18:49:00.000+01:00

1. We usually use a straight ruler, but they used a triangle ruler with protactor

i used my straight ruler last year, but then slowly changed to the triangle. i also dont quite remember the reason why i switched..haha~

2. We usually use a straight line test pad, but they used squared line test pad..

ala macam buku math yg selalu guna time sekolah2 dulu.. really reminds me of my school days.. yeah it seems more practical to draw in a squared paper.Maybe i've got used to it or i just dont have the choice? what do u think? When i first got here, i refused to use that 'normal' test pad.. i prefered the plain A4 paper against that checkered paper.. so some students looked at us pelik je because we didnt use a not pad to jot down.. hahah~

3. We usually use 3 coloured pen, blue, black and red, but they used a whole lot of coloured pens..such as green, orange etc.. thanks to schwan stabilo =)

pen schwan stabilo yg orange tuh are cheap if u dont convert it to RM. So most of the university and FH/HS students are using these pens.. The lecturer pun suka using the coloured chalks when drawing on the 'blackboard'.Yep,we still us blackboard and chalk over here when almost all the school and univ in msia are upgrading to whiteboards... i wonder why they didnt use the
whiteboards instead of the conventional-old school-blackboards..Anyway..
when the Profs used colour to draw, the students also follow the same.. So 3
basic colour is usually not enough.. I am also following this trend, because u
just cant understand your drawing when there are so many arrows near each
other.. sigh~

4. We usually sat in the middle or almost at the back of the lecture hall, but some of them love to sit infront..

Just imagine a lecture theater that the sits infront are lowered than the back
row.. but the german's students are usually taller... i mean a lot taller than
us asians, and sometimes i can hardly see the prof eventhough i sat at the
next row and theoritically, at a higher place.. they still blocked my view ...
ah~ sometimes it is driving me nuts because i have to move to the right and
to the left just to see what is happening in front, and most importantly..what
is written at the board ... at that time i wish everyone have the same
heights..hahha~ cruel is it?

5. We seldom bring 'bekal makanan' to class, but they bring almost everything to class.. heh~

Yeah, it is not an unfamiliar view to see the german's student open their
lunch box during class or during break in the class.. Eating bananas or yoghurt during class.. write something down, eat one bite.. did the students in
malaysia do the same too? i never went to univ in msia, so i dont really
know.. so i just making assumtions =) We always crammed the cafe during
our time in gmi.. but i hardly do it anymore at the dining hall ... it is akward
and i prefer eating at home =) .. what do u guys (students overseas) usually
eat during lunch? Makan roti je ke? Or u dont eat? Or following the trend,
bring along a lunch box?

Okay... i'm going out of ideas right now.. let me know if u think of something else =)

thank god today public holiday =)
Love to be at home when it is totally cold outside

Malaysian VS German Students Part 1

2007-11-01T18:45:00.000+01:00

i've posted this on my friendster blog a long long time ago... but i'm posting it back because i think of making a part 2..heh~

hehe~~ it is just from my point of view and my experiences while studying here. i think the culture make the environment different..thats why at first it seems like it is funny and sometimes unapropriate..

note: the malaysian students only apply to students in Malaysia.. we students in germany ~~tend to be influenced by the germans~~ . only apply what we think the best .not fully..only part of it.. =p

1.Eat and Drink in class

german students:

they bring all those foods in a big tupperware put it on the table next to them..and eat whenever they want..yup whenever, includes during class while the professor is teaching in front. they dont do this in the back row..but in front row too..kind of weird sometimes because to us, it seems like we dont respect our teacher.. and they do bring tupperware or wrapped lunch to univ. msian students? never ever do that.. still thinking that we will look uncool if we do that arent we?

msian students:

why bother to bring food to class. if u are hungry, stalls are everywhere. u just need to prepare the money. and our culture teach us that it is rude to eat in class while studying because there is time to eat, there is also time to learn. eat in classroom esecially infront of the teacher is so RUDE.. so we have been born with this type of culture =)

2.Leaving the classroom

german students:

go to class, if the class is so bored..then just leave whenever u want..not discreetly but openly~ just like u dont do anything wrong. even the door is at the front of the class next to your prof. just go straight to the door and exit. no word being utter and no excuse being made up. yup the prof wont get mad and the students wont feel guilty at all. it is freedom. u do what u want to do.. ok?

msian students:

u go to class when u want to, and dont go to class if the class will be boring. if u want to leave the classroom, make sure to take the back door when the prof doesnt looking.. if not u'll end up getting 'extra' lectures ..heh

3.drinks in class

german students:

bring the mug or cup of coffee from the cafeteria to the class..drink while listening to lectures. or bring along 1 or two big bottles of mineral water with gas ..or any other drinks,but make sure the 1.5liter bottle..also with gas..so when they open up their drinks, the whole class will know they are thirsty because of the sound..just like the sound when u open up a bottle of coke,but three times or five times louder. usually the drinks here come in a glass bottle, so u can return them and get ur money back for the bottle. know how glass bottles might sound when being accidently kicked on the floor? we hear that sound too many and too often and it doesnt really matters anymore =p to be truth. its annoying~~ really really annoying..

msian students:

will bring the smallest bottle of drink made of plastic and of course, wont bring anything at all. have u ever seen malaysian students bring bottle made of glass? i never seen one. have u? if u have.. tell me =)

4.Bags

german students :

(this does not apply to all) will bring a big and heavy bag to class everyday.. lots of thing to stuff in. eg drinks, tupperware for breakfast or lunch, a big ring file so u can stuff everything that u learn in that semester, big pencil case, books..doesnt they get tired carrying heavy bags everyday?

msian students:

try to minimize the size and the weight of the bag, the smaller the better.. am i right? only schoolers bring big and heavy bags.. in univ. NOT!! whats for?

5.Notes organisation

german students :

1 large ring file with separator. almost 80percent of the students in my class do this, does not exclude the guys.. so they will bring this big and heavy file everyday to class.. maybe they wont waste time packing their school bag everyday?? i dont know the logic. but i know they learn this from primary school i guess. and not to forget, the stick on notes to mark the important pages in a book.. yups.stick everywhere u want guys

msian students:

note pad and then lost and forget where we put them.. haha esp the guys. we tend to have a different file for every subject..rite? the tinner and lighter..thats more comfortable than a big and heavy file.. it only applied to the organised ones. the one that doesnt..chaos everywhere.. wait until the exam is near.. treasure hunting everybody!! huhu~

i'll list more when i got the time. the difference in the culture makes us sometimes offended by them eventhough they does not mean it. to observe and to experience is the best way to learn other culture. dont u think so?

so have fun in your life =) life is always fun when when u know how to enjoyed it eventough ur life is actually sucks =P hahaha~

turning over a new leaf

2007-10-31T00:01:00.000+01:00

Well i've been shocked by a news tonight..
And because of that fact i cant seem to be sleeping tonite
thank god my class tomorrow start at 11.30am
Thanks to nani who accompany me right now..
We talk bout many stuff..
such as our obsession to dbsk and all
really make me calm down after a while
thanks~
Well .. i guess it is so shocking
because i cant see it is coming at all
but i guess now .... it is okay

nothing much can i write right now
let just let this music video express
what i feel right now
so i'm going straight to bed
and turning over a new leaf tomorrow
hope all of u have a great day today
take care~~

the story of a journey

2007-10-29T01:22:00.000+01:00

the name of this blog was taken from a korean song
entitled 'travel log'
or some translated it as 'the story of journey'
i loved the name and it gave a huge meaning to me
this is my life journey
so i'm written it down in my travel log
which is this blog

everyone's life is something special
so it is the same with mine

so for all brigades.. this song is specially for you guys
and for others.. hope u enjoy it too

story about true life

2007-10-28T01:49:00.000+02:00

i actually read this on friendster groups,
which was posted by a friend
and after reading...
it makes me wanted to post it here too

and to daddy and mummy..
you both know that i love you soo much~
and no words can ever describe how thankful i am
to have you both in my life

here is the story

CIUM PIPI AYAH SEBELUM CIUMAN TERAKHIR
Sumbangan miqdad pada Saturday, June26 @ 15:46:27 MYT sebagai peringatan buat kita yang masih mempunyai ayah dan ibu...hargailah mereka sebaiknya sebelum kita terlambat... ..sebelum mereka pergi meninggalkan kita... atau kita pergi meninggalkan mereka... wallahua'lam. ...CIUM PIPI AYAH SEBELUM CIUMAN TERAKHIR.... .saya terima info ni dari rakan Ayah aku meninggal 5/8/2002..3. 25pm.Apa yang aku tuliskan sini adalah untuk mereka yang masih lagi ada orang tersayang, untuk terus menyayangi dan berjasa sebelum menyesal.Kematian abah amat meninggalkan kesanyang mendalam apatah lagi meninggalkan mak yang kesorangan.Anak-anak semua dah besar.kerja semua jejauh.Hidup ini seolah tiada erti....selama nie setiap suka duka....pasti telefon dan maklumkan pada mak dan abah. Kalau naik gaji...dapat keputusan bagus dll...pasti telefon mereka sepuya mereka gembira.Kalau boleh mahu terus berada di perak menemani mak yang terus menangis.Syukur, abah mati dipelukan mak yang mengucap dua kalimah syahadah...ditelinga kirinya...dan aku ketika itu mengucap ditelinga kanannya.... ..ini adalah kali pertama aku melihat kematian.... masih terbayang....abah memandang jauh kehadapan dan mata nya ke atas....sambil mengucap dan memejamkan mata.Sungguh cepat dan tenang...semoga roh abah ditempatkan digolongan yang beriman.Syukur sembahyang jemaah abah lebih dari seratus orang...syukur abah dikebumikan dengan selamat.Sejam sebelum kematian ....sempat berbual dengan abah. Abah kata kalau nak beli kereta tunggulah 2005.Bila time AFTA nanti kereta honda jatuh harga.Boleh lah bawak mak berjalan.Waktu tu abah dah sihat...dah selera makan.Pastu...abah suruh esok pergi buat kad pengenalan baru. Sebab abah dan Mak baru ambil kelmarin. Abah kata sehari jer buat. Tak payah ambik gambar kat kedai gambar. Diorang guna digital kamera kat office jer.Tapi abah kata jangan pakai baju putih. Nanti gambar tak clear.Tapi tak sangka esok nyer aku pergi sana bukannya utk buat kad pengenalan aku,sebaliknya buat sijil kematian abah.Apabila Izrail datang mengambil nyawa....kita tak boleh mencepat atau menganjak walau sesaat. Sampai sekarangmasih terbayang keadaan abah masatu.Tapi macam tak sangka. Abah hanya tengok atas dan tutup mata.Badan tidak bergoyang walau seinci.Abah cuma nak baring.Sambil mulut mengucap dua kalimah syahadah.Pertama kali.... pergi ke rumah mayat jenazah.Pertama kali.... naik van jenazah,pertama kali.... buat sijil kematian,pertama kali.... tak tidur 2 hari,pertama kali.... asyik menangis,pertama kali.... menimbus kubur,pertama kali.... menjirus air mawar,semuanya pertama kali........ ...Dan pertama kali.... juga takkan jumpa abah lagi.Aku memandikan abah......memasangkan kain ihram sebagai kain kapan.Ketika ditutup muka abah, aku mencium dahi....pipi kanan....pipi kiri.....dan bangun....tetiba hati aku ingin terus mencium lagi...aku membongkokkan kaki dan mencium dahi nya semula. Ciuman ini adalah ciuman terakhir. Semasa kecil aku selalu cium abah.Tetapi apabila dah besar sudah lama tidak mencium pipinya.Ya Allah..tuhan segala alam...aku dan abang mengangkat jenazahnya.. ......... dan mengebumikannya.hati ini sayu mengenangkan pemergian abah yang tercinta.Mak hanya memandang dengan air mata sayu....penglihatan nya kosong......setelah 36 tahun hidup bersama abah......kini tinggal seorang.Selaku seorang anak.....aku tahu bagaimana kasih seorang abah.Abah seorang pendiam..... . sabar..dan alim....Jemaah masjid...bendahari masjid.....dan pelbagai amanah kebajikan dilakukannya.Aku selama ini tidak pernah meluahkan kasih kepada abah secara terus terang.Memang sayang abah... cuma...dengan abah saya hormat dan memendam kasih saya.....Lainnya pula dengan emak...yang sentiasa berterus terang....seringkali tidur di peha.Kelmarin,aku baca dairi abah.Tak sangka abah pun tulis diari.Tiada apa yang ada dalam dairi itu melainkan perkara anak-anak nya.Semuanya berkisar tentang anak-anaknya .Aku sendiri tak ingat bila aku beli kereta.Tapi abah catat..18 February..rizal beli kereta satria hijau 1.6.....abah catat setiap kali anak nya telefon berserta waktunya. Sekali tu jam1.00 pagi aku telefon dari KL.....abahpun catat. Semuanya abah catat berkenaan anaknya.Abah catat rizal balik jam 2.00tengahari bawa keropok.dll.......Abah catat Kak Se keguguran... ..Abah catat Shaifol (abang sulung) keKL......menangis kami semua bila baca dairi tue....Abah sayang anaknya.....tak pernah tunjuk...sebab abah lebih suka mendiam dan tidak bercakap pasal orang.Begitu juga dengan orang lain ayah hanya banyak cakap pasal ilmu agama dan berkenaan anak-anaknya sahaja.Ada kawan kampung abah baru nie cakap "Abah kamu masa hidup selalu cakap pasal anaknye.Sorang keje sana sorang keje sini. Dia bangga ada anak macam korang".Tapi jauh di sudut hati aku, aku masih terkilan sebab aku selalu fikir...aku...bukan anak yang baik.Abah memang suka tulis. Kalau fail atau dokumen pasal kereta, rumah,bil,kedai dll memang semua tersusun..Aku terjumpa buku nota kuliah subuh abah yang terbaru.....catatan terakhir yang abah tulis "hati orang beriman sentiasa ingat kubur"...abah gariskan perkataan ingat kubur....dan kami bersyukur bahawa abah sememangnya telah bersiap sedia untuk meninggal.Dan menyerahkan kepada Allah untuk melepaskan seksaan di kubur dan api neraka.Abah memang suka budak kecik..pantang anak saper pasti dia dukung...bawak berjalan.... .. cucu-cucunya setiap kali balik pasti nak tidur sama.Kini semuanya tiada.Ya ALLAH....aku tak tahu bagaimana kehidupan utk diteruskan.. .tanpa Abah......baru bercadang nak balik dan bertekad bonus tahun nie nak kasi abah seribu mak seribu... tapi Allah lebih menyayanginya. ..abah meninggal 5hb..tidak sempat merasai bonus pertama anaknya yang baru masuk 10hb Ogos 2002.Kali nie tak sangka bonus banyak digunakan untuk majlis tahlil dan batu nisan untuk abah.Tok Imam ada cakap kat kami...."kubur ayah dikorek...pastu ditanam...tanahnya masih penuh kat tepi....terlebih tandanya seorang yang pemurah....sedangkan ada sesetengah kubur dikorek pastu ditimbus semula masih takcukup tanah.""abah kamu wajahnya senyumnyer walaupun dah meninggal""Abah kamu waktu dimandikan dahbersih...tak der kotor najis pun takder"...perkara itulah menyedapkan hatikami....untuk jadi seperti abah....Sembahyang Jumaat minggu sudah diMasjid.....aku memulangkan semula duit masjid danbuku akaun yang abah pegang selaku bendahari.Sambil mengira kutipan Jumaat hari itutok imam dan bilal turutmenangis...."Dulu abah kau yang tolong kira pastutulis kat white board tu".........Ini semua membuat aku rasa terpanggiluntuk kembali ke kampung walau kerja apa sekali pun....Ya Allah...sesungguhnya kematian ini memberi hidayah pada aku ....Talkin buat abah masih segar..."Wahai Hj Badzri Bin HajahHabsah...ketahuilah kamu bahawa mati itu benar, kiamat itu benar, Allah itu benar"dan,kita yang hidup akan pergi juga....Lelaki berat tanggungjawabnya. ...suami menanggung dosa isteri dan anak-anak... .insya Allah selaku anak-anak kami telah dibekalkan ilmu agama.Cuma...aku kini telah lupa untuk mengamalkannya sejak mula bekerja setelah terlupa dgn nikmat Allah..Mak juga seorang yang solehah....saya yakin Allah maha pengampun dan maha bijaksana dalam menentukan Al-Mizan..Dulu mak dan abah tiap waktu ke Masjid dekat dgn rumah berdua....tapi sekarang nie mak kata mak takut nak ke masjid seorang diri takut tak tenang hati teringat abah.Inilah perasaan aku sekarang. Buat korang yang masih ada....jadikan iktibar.....Cium pipi ayah sebelum ciuman terakhir.Dan curahkan kasih sayang tanpa selindung.Tunjukkan... .

well.. that is the story,even it is quite long
hope we'll get something after reading =)

(Credit to Johari for the post on kusess9903 group)

raya at a place far from home

2007-10-26T20:05:00.000+02:00

it is still "raya mode" for me in germany

at least to the people in my place.. it is stiill that mode

kan org selalu kata 'raya kan sebulan'

yups puasa sebulan , kena la raya sebulan.. kan?

haha~ maybe yes, maybe not

for those who always think that it is a sad thing

to raya in a foreign country

i dont agree to that

because it is also enjoyable to raya with friends

my second raya here in germany,

i didnt miss raya in malaysia too much =)

it is a lie if i said i dont miss raya in malaysia at all

i do...it is just, it is not a big matter to me anymore

let me tell you how i celebrated my raya this year

in this cold autumn or is it winter already?

i just cant decide =)

this year raya was on friday..

i was totally excited when islam.de

stated that raya was on saturday

because that mean

i wont have to spend my first day raya in class

and not to forget, friday is always packed

why la towards the weekend classes are packed?

saje je didnt want us to tone down before saturday arrive~

back to the raya thing..

sadly raya in nuernberg fall on friday

i didnt know how certain places raya on friday, some on sat

what i know is, raya in germany is according to masjid

where the boys always go to

yeah~ we all beramai2 having confict to raya or not to raya
in the end i just followed the majority and raya on friday

1.Syawal = raya at lecture hall from 8am to 3.30pm

quite nice eh for first day raya? =P haha~

but i brought kuih raya to class

just for the sake of my self-satisfaction

and to have this feeling of raya that day

hehe~ yeah the germans didnt know what i was eating

dont bother anyway~

straight after come back from class

anez and i catch the ICE to duisburg

we decided at last minute to celebrate

this year raya at nani's place

which could be a nice change and experience

it took 4 hours to reached there,

and we arrived around 10.15pm
gladly NRW is not as cold as nuernberg =)

Starving and craving for food..we went to eat italian's..

i had lasagne for dinner and those two..

spaghetti with... yeah~ i forgot the names..

on raya we ate italian's food ..quite strange right?

suppose to be the traditional delicacies..

well we was so hungry back then

and didnt even bother about the choices we had

dinner almost at midnight, what to expect in germany?

2.Syawal , celebrated raya with the krefelders..haha~ they have lemang too.. suprise suprise..nice to be there as well

After celebrated raya, it is time for a short ritual trip to koln.yeah i just used the word ritual because it is SuNn's ritual back then.. right SuNn?

Semangat went to koln from Gelsenkirchen

just for the nasi beriani.

yeah~ the nasi beriani restaurant which took a long time to catch the chicken to make nuggets..maybe they have to take a long time because the chickens at their shop are too energetic to catch =p

sigh~ i wont go back to that shop.. seriously!

waiting just for the fries and nuggets took almost 30minutes..

we even managed to finish one round of uno game

when the orders arrived..

slower than tortoise =p dah la ade misscommunication..

we are not hungry at first

but become hungry because of the wait

susah sangat ke nak fried all those?

shouldnt be more than 10 min...

or the 'new' worker didnt even know how to use the fryer

haha~ whatever!

'sunn and sofi with their fries' 'nani, anez and me at koln'

Back to Nuernberg on Sunday and went straight to Azraai's house. Raya means lots of open house.. and also lots of eating involved

Then, the next weekend, it is our house turn for open house

Yeah, it is true that we didnt know how to estimate the food

Sorry to anyone who experienced any inconvenience during our open house

We'll try our best again next year =)

This pic is at Safwan's house.. Open house joint venture with mamak's house .Should be consider not fair..haha~ But the rendang and nasi beriani was the best =)

Lastly thanks to noreen who come all the way from Rosenheim and helped us during the open house and all. We had a nice Altstadt tour on Sunday eventhough it was freezing outside

Well that is what my raya is all about until now. But why no open house this weekend? Should i be asking that question?

Anyway.. raya in Nuernberg is still the best =)

of the little things that change

2007-10-25T22:56:00.000+02:00

as we went through days
there will always be something changing in us
it may seem tiny
but we always change bit by bit
influenced by the situation we are in

maybe we changed to be a better person
maybe we changed into a bad person
maybe we changed to be a cold hearted person
maybe we changed into a warm person

who knows what the outside will influenced us into

the effects may be unsignificant
but i believe that we are all changing
if not big, tiny ones..

always people said " you have changed "
yes, we do change actually
when age adding up
when our thoughts become sharper and wiser
that make us mature and think a bit different

i always hate changes
i do hate them a lot
but i know , without i realised it
i AM constantly changing
the feeling of joy, hurt, stress and lots more
changed me into what i am now

dont you think that what we are now
were the reflection of our past?
we become this person because of what we've gone through
since we was born...

it is natural to be affected by our past
and me too didnt managed to excape the fact
i become scared to be hurt, because i've been hurt
i have a hard time trusting people, because i've been betrayed
i become aware , because i've been deceived
i have a hard time judging people, because i've wrongly misjudged

these sort of things make us stay alert
not to repeat the same mistakes again

and i do know now, what mistakes that should never repeated itself
because more than one, is frankly more than enough
so the future might be a scary thing
but deep down i know we are preparing
for what awaits in front of us

so life is that interesting as it unfolds
there is no adventure if we know everything right?

"as if i'm looking forward to my future" - Am Pegnitz ,21 okt 2007
(credit to azraai for the 'change' on the title )

on dreams and paradise

2007-10-25T00:42:00.000+02:00

Winter comes early this year
Didnt even managed to say hi to autumn..
Anyhow i dont dislike winter at all
it is just COLD ~
but the world of winter is always amazing..
u see white everywhere (when its snowing lah)
like the movie narnia..
u feel like u are in a magical world (as if ~)
but let i imagined it that way =)

i want to travel soo much when i have the time
and of course money ~
i have been dreaming of seeing the alps
and the beauty of switzerland
i would love to go to the musical city prague
and also the love town paris
there are lots more on the list
and futhermore they are close by
(not that close, i just mean it's close cause i'm in europe)

i hope that i can go to all the dream places that i always dream of
travelling is so much fun
when u are with the right people
at the right time..
it doesnt have to be a perfect paradise vacation
as long as u enjoy urself to the fullest
then it will be special

dreams and paradise have an enourmous meaning
depends on which one you are referring to
right now.. paradise is when i can run away from
all the classes and reports
and pamper myself on a nice memorable holiday
but dreaming is all i can do now
as day become more and more packed
and work will continue to pile up
not to forget the books that i have to read up~
sigh~

oh well.. that is what a student's life be
so no need to complain all the time
as the german saying goes

"Die, die immer keine Zeit hat, tun am wenigsten"
(the person who always doesnt have time, do the least work)

Everyone have the same amount of time everyday

It is up to us to decide how to spend the day and the excuse "i dont have enough time" shouldnt be exist

running away

2007-10-23T19:21:00.000+02:00

last 2 months when i was watching ghost whisperer with my sis at home
we come acrossed a song that captured our ears
so when we make our search after that
it is "running away" from midnight hours
and the lyrics also give a deep meaning for me

doesnt you always feel like running away from reality?
when everything didint turn out the way u want
and everything that u done is not worth it?

sometimes i'm feeling the same way too
the feeling to stop everything at halt
and begin anew
but that is impossible
because we only have one life
and no matter how sucks our life be
there will always be a better time for us
that is what i believe

sometimes when u feel like the whole world are against you
and you standing there fighting alone
that is not true
at least there would be someone who believe in you
and support you
eventhough you might not realise it

so when u feel like running away
think again...
because problems wont solve if u dont take action
that is what my friends always told me

face the problems with all your might
even if u ended up losing
it is not as bad as not even dare to try

forgive and forget

2007-10-22T22:27:00.000+02:00

forgive and forget

that is what people always say

it is a good advice

but is not always practical

when someone hurt us

we want to hurt them back

when people wronged us

we want to be right

without forgiveness

old scores will never settles

old wounds will never heal ...

and the most we can hope for

is that one day we'll be lucky enough to forget

and also kind enough to forgive

it is just the beginning

2007-10-21T23:28:00.000+02:00

life begins everyday
everyday we will be doing something new
learning something interesting
understand the meaning of something
there is always something ~
it begin everyday..
and will keep repeating day by day

as for today
i'll start to blog
but i dont know if i'm good enough
and if my sense of language sufficent and correct enough
i'm afraid if my style of writing did'nt draws people attention
but i dont know if i dont try
so i'm giving my best =)

to walk own life is a difficult thing
we'll cross many things in our journey
sad ones, happy ones.. all different situation
but that is what life about
it is just the beginning ...
the path is still waiting for us to create
now the story BEGIN ~~

i would like to share this video and the title is 'begin'